1
00:00:12,445 --> 00:00:14,465
[music]

2
00:00:18,340 --> 00:00:20,360
[music]

3
00:00:27,039 --> 00:00:33,400
What are you doing up?

4
00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:33,400
It's 3:30.

5
00:00:35,520 --> 00:00:40,010
>> Great. Here we go. [music]

6
00:00:37,990 --> 00:00:40,010
[singing]

7
00:00:40,480 --> 00:00:45,960
>> Yep. And tonight's winner is

8
00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:45,960
>> September.

9
00:00:46,239 --> 00:00:49,800
>> Cuz that happens.

10
00:00:51,200 --> 00:00:55,520
>> What did we say about watching the news?

11
00:00:52,960 --> 00:00:58,320
Now you act all sweet and [music] sirly,

12
00:00:55,520 --> 00:01:00,970
but you swore you'd come home early and

13
00:00:58,320 --> 00:01:00,970
you lied. [singing]

14
00:01:04,559 --> 00:01:09,920
>> You got to let go. Mom, I'm almost 18.

15
00:01:07,680 --> 00:01:10,720
>> Are you snorting coke?

16
00:01:09,920 --> 00:01:12,080
>> Not at the moment.

17
00:01:10,720 --> 00:01:13,520
>> Who's up at this hour?

18
00:01:12,080 --> 00:01:14,240
>> Father, go up the back.

19
00:01:13,520 --> 00:01:15,119
>> Why does he hate me?

20
00:01:14,240 --> 00:01:16,640
>> Cuz you're a little [ __ ]

21
00:01:15,119 --> 00:01:18,400
>> He can't call me a [ __ ]

22
00:01:16,640 --> 00:01:20,799
>> Is everything okay? I heard voices.

23
00:01:18,400 --> 00:01:22,960
>> Just me talking to myself, you know. Now

24
00:01:20,799 --> 00:01:25,040
you head on upstairs. I'll be up for sex

25
00:01:22,960 --> 00:01:26,479
in a minute.

26
00:01:25,040 --> 00:01:30,280
>> You sure everything's okay?

27
00:01:26,479 --> 00:01:30,280
>> Mhm. Go.

28
00:01:31,439 --> 00:01:35,600
>> They're the perfect loving family.

29
00:01:33,666 --> 00:01:39,680
[singing] So adoring. [music]

30
00:01:35,600 --> 00:01:42,720
And I love them every day of every week.

31
00:01:39,680 --> 00:01:46,479
So my son's a little [ __ ] My husband's

32
00:01:42,720 --> 00:01:49,386
boring. And my daughter though genius is

33
00:01:46,479 --> 00:01:52,479
a freak. Still I help them love each

34
00:01:49,386 --> 00:01:55,280
[singing] other. Father, mother, sister,

35
00:01:52,479 --> 00:01:57,119
brother, cheek to cheek.

36
00:01:55,280 --> 00:01:59,119
>> Natalie, it's 4 in the morning. Is

37
00:01:57,119 --> 00:02:00,640
everything okay? Everything's great. Why

38
00:01:59,119 --> 00:02:02,240
wouldn't it be great? It's great. I've

39
00:02:00,640 --> 00:02:03,759
just got three more chapters of calculus

40
00:02:02,240 --> 00:02:05,200
of physics problem set, a history quiz,

41
00:02:03,759 --> 00:02:07,200
and two more pages on floral [music]

42
00:02:05,200 --> 00:02:08,800
dream flowers for alon which duh.

43
00:02:07,200 --> 00:02:12,160
Everything's so under control. It's just

44
00:02:08,800 --> 00:02:14,560
calm. Okay, honey. You need to slow down

45
00:02:12,160 --> 00:02:17,840
and take some time for yourself. I'm

46
00:02:14,560 --> 00:02:19,680
going to have sex with your father.

47
00:02:17,840 --> 00:02:23,840
Great.

48
00:02:19,680 --> 00:02:25,680
Thanks. So glad I know that.

49
00:02:23,840 --> 00:02:28,480
So it's [music] times like these I

50
00:02:25,680 --> 00:02:30,959
wonder [singing] how I take it. And if

51
00:02:28,480 --> 00:02:34,581
other [music] families live the way we

52
00:02:30,959 --> 00:02:37,201
do. If they love each other or if they

53
00:02:34,581 --> 00:02:39,440
[music] just fake it. And if other

54
00:02:37,201 --> 00:02:43,280
[singing] daughters feel like I feel

55
00:02:39,440 --> 00:02:45,840
too. Cuz some days I think I'm dying.

56
00:02:43,280 --> 00:02:47,760
But I'm [singing] really only trying to

57
00:02:45,840 --> 00:02:50,959
get through.

58
00:02:47,760 --> 00:02:54,959
for just another day [music]

59
00:02:50,959 --> 00:02:56,959
for another stolen hour. When the world

60
00:02:54,959 --> 00:02:59,959
will feel my [singing] power and [music]

61
00:02:56,959 --> 00:02:59,959
oy

62
00:03:02,080 --> 00:03:06,077
feeling [music]

63
00:03:02,720 --> 00:03:06,077
like I live forever, [singing]

64
00:03:10,159 --> 00:03:15,599
just another day.

65
00:03:12,959 --> 00:03:17,812
>> That was great, wasn't it? That was

66
00:03:15,599 --> 00:03:19,920
great. Christ, I'm late. That'll teach

67
00:03:17,812 --> 00:03:20,800
[music] you to take a whole 10 minutes.

68
00:03:19,920 --> 00:03:23,040
>> I'm sorry. What?

69
00:03:20,800 --> 00:03:25,440
>> I said, "Isn't it a beautiful day?"

70
00:03:23,040 --> 00:03:27,200
>> Um, yeah, sure. It's cloudy and raining

71
00:03:25,440 --> 00:03:27,680
and really cold for September, but

72
00:03:27,200 --> 00:03:29,200
beautiful.

73
00:03:27,680 --> 00:03:30,560
>> Makes you want to [music] dive in with

74
00:03:29,200 --> 00:03:32,319
both feet, doesn't it?

75
00:03:30,560 --> 00:03:35,440
>> Absolutely.

76
00:03:32,319 --> 00:03:37,840
I never know what she's talking about

77
00:03:35,440 --> 00:03:39,840
when it's up to you to hold [music] your

78
00:03:37,840 --> 00:03:42,640
house together.

79
00:03:39,840 --> 00:03:45,040
A house you built with patience and with

80
00:03:42,640 --> 00:03:47,920
care. But you're grappling [music] with

81
00:03:45,040 --> 00:03:50,562
that [singing] gray and rainy weather

82
00:03:47,920 --> 00:03:53,360
and you're living on a latte and

83
00:03:50,562 --> 00:03:54,879
[singing] a prayer. Can you keep the cup

84
00:03:53,360 --> 00:03:57,599
from tickling? [music]

85
00:03:54,879 --> 00:03:59,519
Can you keep your grip from slipping in

86
00:03:57,599 --> 00:04:03,062
despair

87
00:03:59,519 --> 00:04:03,062
for just another day [music]

88
00:04:04,239 --> 00:04:10,560
and [singing] a hurry? You want to wipe

89
00:04:07,120 --> 00:04:14,239
your glory clean away

90
00:04:10,560 --> 00:04:17,199
for just another [music] day.

91
00:04:14,239 --> 00:04:21,347
will keep the plates all spinning with a

92
00:04:17,199 --> 00:04:23,312
smile so white and winding all the way

93
00:04:21,347 --> 00:04:25,332
[music]

94
00:04:23,312 --> 00:04:25,332
[singing]

95
00:04:25,360 --> 00:04:31,479
to fill me up for [music] another day.

96
00:04:31,600 --> 00:04:37,280
>> It [music] only hurts when I'm here.

97
00:04:35,680 --> 00:04:38,400
>> You're going to be late and you've got a

98
00:04:37,280 --> 00:04:40,560
huge day today.

99
00:04:38,400 --> 00:04:42,080
>> You have no idea what I do all day. Jazz

100
00:04:40,560 --> 00:04:43,040
band before school, class, key clubs,

101
00:04:42,080 --> 00:04:44,160
and football.

102
00:04:43,040 --> 00:04:45,199
>> Not bad.

103
00:04:44,160 --> 00:04:48,199
>> Now get out of here.

104
00:04:45,199 --> 00:04:48,199
>> Okay.

105
00:04:50,168 --> 00:04:52,188
[singing]

106
00:04:53,919 --> 00:04:57,840
>> Morning, sunshine.

107
00:04:55,680 --> 00:04:59,338
>> So, I got the date for my winter

108
00:04:57,840 --> 00:04:59,840
recital. Do you think you guys can come?

109
00:04:59,338 --> 00:05:02,000
[music]

110
00:04:59,840 --> 00:05:04,080
>> Uh, yeah. We'll put it on the calendar.

111
00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:05,680
>> Mom, the calendar's still on April of

112
00:05:04,080 --> 00:05:08,240
last year.

113
00:05:05,680 --> 00:05:10,000
>> Well, happy Easter.

114
00:05:08,240 --> 00:05:12,479
>> Happy Easter, Mom. Hi, sweetheart.

115
00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:14,960
>> Hey, she's on fire this morning.

116
00:05:12,479 --> 00:05:17,199
>> Oh, I know.

117
00:05:14,960 --> 00:05:18,639
>> Ew.

118
00:05:17,199 --> 00:05:20,320
>> Honey, can you do the shopping today?

119
00:05:18,639 --> 00:05:20,880
I'm slammed to work and we're out of

120
00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:23,520
everything.

121
00:05:20,880 --> 00:05:25,360
>> I keep cave clean. You go out, get

122
00:05:23,520 --> 00:05:31,160
fired.

123
00:05:25,360 --> 00:05:31,160
>> Absolutely. [music] Again, no clue.

124
00:05:31,199 --> 00:05:34,560
>> It [music] only hurts when I breathe.

125
00:05:32,560 --> 00:05:36,800
>> It only hurts when I try. It only hurts

126
00:05:34,560 --> 00:05:40,080
when I [music]

127
00:05:36,800 --> 00:05:40,080
>> It only hurts when I'm worse.

128
00:05:41,600 --> 00:05:46,498
when I [music] say

129
00:05:43,759 --> 00:05:48,518
this is Another day

130
00:05:46,498 --> 00:05:48,518
[music]

131
00:05:52,393 --> 00:05:54,413
[music and singing]

132
00:06:02,219 --> 00:06:06,204
[music]

133
00:06:04,184 --> 00:06:06,204
[singing]

134
00:06:08,319 --> 00:06:12,754
you know what I can tell [music]

135
00:06:13,919 --> 00:06:19,919
Every day is just another and another

136
00:06:18,080 --> 00:06:20,800
and another

137
00:06:19,919 --> 00:06:23,919
hold it all [music and singing]

138
00:06:20,800 --> 00:06:26,479
together. We're the perfect loving

139
00:06:23,919 --> 00:06:29,074
family

140
00:06:26,479 --> 00:06:31,280
and [ __ ] up. We're the perfect loving

141
00:06:29,074 --> 00:06:34,000
[music] family. I will keep the place

142
00:06:31,280 --> 00:06:36,000
all and the world keeps [music] on

143
00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:38,479
spinning and spinning.

144
00:06:36,000 --> 00:06:40,400
>> Hey Diana, honey,

145
00:06:38,479 --> 00:06:42,160
>> don't worry about it. Go on ahead.

146
00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:43,520
You'll miss your bus, Mom.

147
00:06:42,160 --> 00:06:47,360
>> Everything's fine. Just making

148
00:06:43,520 --> 00:06:48,639
sandwiches on the floor. Um, you go on

149
00:06:47,360 --> 00:06:50,400
ahead. You'll miss your bus.

150
00:06:48,639 --> 00:06:51,919
>> Go,

151
00:06:50,400 --> 00:06:53,440
sweetie. Everything okay?

152
00:06:51,919 --> 00:06:55,120
>> Yeah, I wanted to get ahead on lunches.

153
00:06:53,440 --> 00:06:58,360
>> Yeah, sure. Why don't you let me help

154
00:06:55,120 --> 00:06:58,360
you up?

155
00:06:58,720 --> 00:07:01,520
>> Well, I guess I got a little carried

156
00:06:59,919 --> 00:07:04,319
away.

157
00:07:01,520 --> 00:07:05,919
>> Maybe a little. Um, let's go see Dr.

158
00:07:04,319 --> 00:07:07,840
Fine.

159
00:07:05,919 --> 00:07:10,800
This is just a blip. Okay, it's nothing

160
00:07:07,840 --> 00:07:15,160
to worry about. I'll wrap up the

161
00:07:10,800 --> 00:07:15,160
sandwiches and then we'll go

162
00:07:31,919 --> 00:07:38,880
Mozart was crazy.

163
00:07:35,360 --> 00:07:41,880
Flat [ __ ] crazy.

164
00:07:38,880 --> 00:07:41,880
Bit's

165
00:07:42,960 --> 00:07:48,720
not crazy. It's balanced. It's nimble.

166
00:07:45,520 --> 00:07:51,599
It's clear.

167
00:07:48,720 --> 00:07:53,759
There's harmony logic. You listen to

168
00:07:51,599 --> 00:07:56,240
these. You don't hear [music] his doubts

169
00:07:53,759 --> 00:07:58,479
or his debts or disease. You scan

170
00:07:56,240 --> 00:08:02,360
through the score and put fingers on

171
00:07:58,479 --> 00:08:02,360
keys and you play

172
00:08:03,039 --> 00:08:10,720
and everything else goes away.

173
00:08:07,520 --> 00:08:12,639
Everything else goes away.

174
00:08:10,720 --> 00:08:15,360
So you play [music] till it's perfect.

175
00:08:12,639 --> 00:08:18,000
You play till you ache. You play till

176
00:08:15,360 --> 00:08:21,840
the strings or your fingernails break.

177
00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:24,080
So you rock that recital and get into so

178
00:08:21,840 --> 00:08:27,199
you won't feel so sick and you won't

179
00:08:24,080 --> 00:08:29,680
look so pale cuz you got your full ride

180
00:08:27,199 --> 00:08:32,000
and you're early admit so you're done

181
00:08:29,680 --> 00:08:34,180
with this school and with all of this

182
00:08:32,000 --> 00:08:37,455
[ __ ] so [music] you graduate early

183
00:08:34,180 --> 00:08:39,475
[singing] you're as of

184
00:08:37,455 --> 00:08:39,475
[music]

185
00:08:42,040 --> 00:08:44,060
>> [singing]

186
00:08:46,080 --> 00:08:51,080
>> And you know that it's just

187
00:08:47,936 --> 00:08:51,080
[singing and music] a

188
00:08:55,141 --> 00:08:57,161
[singing]

189
00:08:59,726 --> 00:09:01,746
[singing]

190
00:09:05,040 --> 00:09:08,519
goes away.

191
00:09:09,360 --> 00:09:14,080
Sounds good.

192
00:09:11,920 --> 00:09:15,360
>> I still have this practice room for

193
00:09:14,080 --> 00:09:18,560
seven and a half minutes.

194
00:09:15,360 --> 00:09:20,800
>> Oh, yeah. I mean, I know. I just like to

195
00:09:18,560 --> 00:09:22,720
listen.

196
00:09:20,800 --> 00:09:23,839
I'm Henry

197
00:09:22,720 --> 00:09:27,200
>> Natalie.

198
00:09:23,839 --> 00:09:30,000
>> Yeah. I mean, I know.

199
00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:31,279
>> It's a little creepy that you know.

200
00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:32,720
>> Well, we've gone to school together for

201
00:09:31,279 --> 00:09:33,760
like six years.

202
00:09:32,720 --> 00:09:38,000
>> Really?

203
00:09:33,760 --> 00:09:38,000
>> I sit behind you in four classes.

204
00:09:38,720 --> 00:09:45,399
Also creepy.

205
00:09:41,600 --> 00:09:45,399
>> You're in here a lot.

206
00:09:46,240 --> 00:09:51,360
>> You know, before school

207
00:09:49,279 --> 00:09:53,279
and after,

208
00:09:51,360 --> 00:09:56,680
>> right?

209
00:09:53,279 --> 00:09:56,680
7 minutes.

210
00:09:58,000 --> 00:10:01,760
>> You give up way too easily.

211
00:10:01,296 --> 00:10:04,720
[panting]

212
00:10:01,760 --> 00:10:08,000
>> You're kind of a confusing person.

213
00:10:04,720 --> 00:10:10,480
You should meet my mother.

214
00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:12,640
>> The pink ones are taken with food, but

215
00:10:10,480 --> 00:10:14,079
not with the white ones. The white ones

216
00:10:12,640 --> 00:10:15,519
are taken with the round yellow ones,

217
00:10:14,079 --> 00:10:17,120
but not with the triangle with yellow

218
00:10:15,519 --> 00:10:18,720
ones. The triangle yellow ones are taken

219
00:10:17,120 --> 00:10:20,640
with the oblong green ones with food,

220
00:10:18,720 --> 00:10:22,959
but not with the pink ones. If a train

221
00:10:20,640 --> 00:10:24,480
is leaving New York at 120 mph, and

222
00:10:22,959 --> 00:10:26,000
another train is leaving St. Petersburg

223
00:10:24,480 --> 00:10:26,800
at the same time, but going backwards,

224
00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:30,640
which train you,

225
00:10:26,800 --> 00:10:34,640
>> who's crazy, the husband or wife? Who's

226
00:10:30,640 --> 00:10:37,519
crazy to live their whole life believing

227
00:10:34,640 --> 00:10:41,040
that somehow things aren't as bizarre as

228
00:10:37,519 --> 00:10:42,959
they are? [singing]

229
00:10:41,040 --> 00:10:46,560
Who's crazy?

230
00:10:42,959 --> 00:10:49,112
The one who can't cope. [music] Or maybe

231
00:10:46,560 --> 00:10:51,120
the one who still hope. The one who

232
00:10:49,112 --> 00:10:54,352
[singing] sees doctors or the one who

233
00:10:51,120 --> 00:10:55,760
just waits [music] in the car.

234
00:10:54,352 --> 00:11:01,839
[singing]

235
00:10:55,760 --> 00:11:04,832
And I was a wild 25. And I love the

236
00:11:01,839 --> 00:11:05,920
white so alive. But now I

237
00:11:04,832 --> 00:11:11,040
[singing and music] believe I would

238
00:11:05,920 --> 00:11:13,360
settle for one who can drive. [singing]

239
00:11:11,040 --> 00:11:15,519
The round blue ones are taken with food,

240
00:11:13,360 --> 00:11:16,800
but not with the oblong white ones. The

241
00:11:15,519 --> 00:11:18,160
white ones are taken with the round

242
00:11:16,800 --> 00:11:20,079
yellow ones, but not with the

243
00:11:18,160 --> 00:11:21,920
trapezoidal green ones. Break the green

244
00:11:20,079 --> 00:11:22,959
ones into thirds with a tiny chisel. Put

245
00:11:21,920 --> 00:11:25,959
it all into a bowl. [singing]

246
00:11:22,959 --> 00:11:25,959
>> Psychopharmarmacologist.

247
00:11:27,200 --> 00:11:31,920
It's like an odd romance,

248
00:11:30,640 --> 00:11:33,839
intense and very [singing and music]

249
00:11:31,920 --> 00:11:37,959
intimate.

250
00:11:33,839 --> 00:11:37,959
We do our dance.

251
00:11:38,320 --> 00:11:42,880
My psychopharmarmacologist

252
00:11:40,399 --> 00:11:44,320
and I

253
00:11:42,880 --> 00:11:45,920
call it [singing]

254
00:11:44,320 --> 00:11:49,120
game.

255
00:11:45,920 --> 00:11:53,399
He knows my deepest secrets.

256
00:11:49,120 --> 00:11:53,399
I [music and singing] know his name.

257
00:11:53,519 --> 00:12:01,200
And he'll never hold me.

258
00:11:57,360 --> 00:12:02,473
He'll take my call.

259
00:12:01,200 --> 00:12:05,680
It's truly [music]

260
00:12:02,473 --> 00:12:07,360
[singing] like he told me. Without a

261
00:12:05,680 --> 00:12:09,440
little lift, the [music] ballerina

262
00:12:07,360 --> 00:12:12,320
falls.

263
00:12:09,440 --> 00:12:14,880
>> Goodman. Diana. Bipolar disorder with

264
00:12:12,320 --> 00:12:17,600
delusional episodes. 16-year history of

265
00:12:14,880 --> 00:12:19,519
medication. Adjustment after four weeks.

266
00:12:17,600 --> 00:12:22,800
>> I've got less anxiety, but I have

267
00:12:19,519 --> 00:12:24,959
headaches and blurry vision,

268
00:12:22,800 --> 00:12:27,680
and I can't [music] feel my toes. So,

269
00:12:24,959 --> 00:12:28,800
we'll try again and eventually we'll get

270
00:12:27,680 --> 00:12:32,603
it right.

271
00:12:28,800 --> 00:12:34,568
>> Not a very exact science, [music] is it?

272
00:12:32,603 --> 00:12:36,588
[singing]

273
00:12:34,568 --> 00:12:36,588
[music]

274
00:12:40,463 --> 00:12:44,000
[music]

275
00:12:41,519 --> 00:12:48,800
When I see the [singing] bills, these

276
00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:51,120
are a few of my favorite pills.

277
00:12:48,800 --> 00:12:51,920
>> Thank you, doctor. Valium is my favorite

278
00:12:51,120 --> 00:12:53,279
color. How'd [singing and music] you

279
00:12:51,920 --> 00:12:55,440
know?

280
00:12:53,279 --> 00:12:57,279
>> It's just the thing about jazz is how do

281
00:12:55,440 --> 00:12:58,480
you ever know if you got it right? It's

282
00:12:57,279 --> 00:13:00,079
just making [ __ ] up. [music]

283
00:12:58,480 --> 00:13:01,120
>> Which is also known as the act of

284
00:13:00,079 --> 00:13:02,560
creation.

285
00:13:01,120 --> 00:13:04,560
>> Oh, well, you're one of those

286
00:13:02,560 --> 00:13:06,720
pretentious stoner [music] types.

287
00:13:04,560 --> 00:13:08,320
>> That's totally not fair. I'm not

288
00:13:06,720 --> 00:13:10,079
pretentious.

289
00:13:08,320 --> 00:13:12,160
I'm definitely not classical. is far too

290
00:13:10,079 --> 00:13:13,920
rigid and structured. There's no room

291
00:13:12,160 --> 00:13:14,800
for improvisation. You have to play the

292
00:13:13,920 --> 00:13:16,880
notes on the page.

293
00:13:14,800 --> 00:13:18,480
>> Yeah. And what did Mozart know anyway?

294
00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:21,519
He should have just smoked a bowl and

295
00:13:18,480 --> 00:13:23,680
jammed on Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star.

296
00:13:21,519 --> 00:13:25,279
>> Yeah, let's do that.

297
00:13:23,680 --> 00:13:27,680
>> Goodman. [music] Diana, second

298
00:13:25,279 --> 00:13:30,079
adjustment after 8 weeks. Delusions less

299
00:13:27,680 --> 00:13:33,040
frequent, but depressive state worse.

300
00:13:30,079 --> 00:13:35,040
>> I'm nauseous and I'm constipated.

301
00:13:33,040 --> 00:13:38,240
Completely lost my appetite [music] and

302
00:13:35,040 --> 00:13:39,440
gained six pounds, which is just, you

303
00:13:38,240 --> 00:13:42,920
know,

304
00:13:39,440 --> 00:13:42,920
It's not fair.

305
00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:51,639
>> Sexual dysfunction,

306
00:13:55,200 --> 00:13:59,920
insomnia, irritability, nausea, [music]

307
00:13:57,920 --> 00:14:02,994
hot and alarming sexual feeling.

308
00:13:59,920 --> 00:14:04,240
>> Oh, one last thing. Use mayor

309
00:14:02,994 --> 00:14:07,120
[music and singing]

310
00:14:04,240 --> 00:14:09,199
may be fatal.

311
00:14:07,120 --> 00:14:11,440
>> Goodman, [music] Diana. Third adjustment

312
00:14:09,199 --> 00:14:14,079
after 12 weeks reports continued mild

313
00:14:11,440 --> 00:14:16,100
anxiety and some lingering depression.

314
00:14:14,079 --> 00:14:18,880
>> I now can't feel my fingers or my toes.

315
00:14:16,100 --> 00:14:19,199
[music] I I I sweat profusely for no

316
00:14:18,880 --> 00:14:21,120
reason.

317
00:14:19,199 --> 00:14:22,320
>> I wasted like weeks of [music] practice

318
00:14:21,120 --> 00:14:24,000
with you improvising.

319
00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:24,720
>> Well, Oscar Peterson was classically

320
00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:26,079
trained.

321
00:14:24,720 --> 00:14:27,920
>> Beethovven did cocaine.

322
00:14:26,079 --> 00:14:31,680
>> Miles Davis went to Giuliard.

323
00:14:27,920 --> 00:14:33,760
>> Mozart wrote [music] poems about farts.

324
00:14:31,680 --> 00:14:35,839
>> Fortunately, I have absolutely no desire

325
00:14:33,760 --> 00:14:38,000
for sex.

326
00:14:35,839 --> 00:14:39,360
So whether that's the medicine or the

327
00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:41,600
marriage is [music] anybody's guess.

328
00:14:39,360 --> 00:14:43,199
>> I'm sure it's the medicine.

329
00:14:41,600 --> 00:14:47,519
>> Oh,

330
00:14:43,199 --> 00:14:51,120
thank you. That's very [music] sweet.

331
00:14:47,519 --> 00:14:53,279
But my husband is waiting in the car.

332
00:14:51,120 --> 00:14:57,199
>> Who's crazy?

333
00:14:53,279 --> 00:15:00,639
The one who's half gone. or maybe

334
00:14:57,199 --> 00:15:05,220
the one who holds on remembering when

335
00:15:00,639 --> 00:15:07,240
she was 20 and brilliant and bold

336
00:15:05,220 --> 00:15:07,240
[singing]

337
00:15:08,720 --> 00:15:15,120
and I was so young

338
00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:18,240
and so dumb

339
00:15:15,120 --> 00:15:23,680
and now I am old

340
00:15:18,240 --> 00:15:27,920
and she was wicked and wired. The sex

341
00:15:23,680 --> 00:15:30,480
was simply inspired. Now there's no sex.

342
00:15:27,920 --> 00:15:32,480
She's [music] depressed and me. I'm just

343
00:15:30,480 --> 00:15:34,750
tired. [singing] But I'm tired. I'm

344
00:15:32,480 --> 00:15:34,750
tired. [music]

345
00:15:40,160 --> 00:15:42,610
My [music]

346
00:15:44,560 --> 00:15:48,505
psychopologist

347
00:15:46,485 --> 00:15:48,505
[music]

348
00:15:50,560 --> 00:15:57,839
may say love is blind

349
00:15:54,560 --> 00:16:00,079
but believe me

350
00:15:57,839 --> 00:16:02,639
love is insane. [singing]

351
00:16:00,079 --> 00:16:03,600
>> Goodman Diana

352
00:16:02,639 --> 00:16:06,880
16 weeks.

353
00:16:03,600 --> 00:16:10,480
>> I don't feel like myself.

354
00:16:06,880 --> 00:16:12,800
I mean I I I don't feel anything.

355
00:16:10,480 --> 00:16:16,360
>> Uhhuh.

356
00:16:12,800 --> 00:16:16,360
>> Patient stable.

357
00:16:19,236 --> 00:16:21,256
[music]

358
00:16:21,856 --> 00:16:23,876
[applause]

359
00:16:28,959 --> 00:16:32,560
>> Hey. Uh, your mom's like in the next

360
00:16:31,600 --> 00:16:35,199
room.

361
00:16:32,560 --> 00:16:38,000
>> She's in denial. It's totally

362
00:16:35,199 --> 00:16:38,000
convenient.

363
00:16:42,160 --> 00:16:46,800
Dude, it's therapeutic,

364
00:16:44,399 --> 00:16:49,120
>> right? It's medical marijuana [music] to

365
00:16:46,800 --> 00:16:52,120
treat your ADHD.

366
00:16:49,120 --> 00:16:52,120
>> Totally.

367
00:16:52,160 --> 00:16:55,160
>> Huh?

368
00:16:56,079 --> 00:17:02,480
>> Oh. Uh, I don't put anything into my

369
00:16:59,440 --> 00:17:06,360
mouth that's on fire.

370
00:17:02,480 --> 00:17:06,360
>> I guess that's a good rule.

371
00:17:09,199 --> 00:17:14,280
Oh,

372
00:17:11,280 --> 00:17:14,280
>> no.

373
00:17:14,880 --> 00:17:20,799
I can't do this.

374
00:17:17,839 --> 00:17:24,160
Not with my life. I I'm like

375
00:17:20,799 --> 00:17:26,559
one [ __ ] up from disaster.

376
00:17:24,160 --> 00:17:28,720
>> Your life's not a disaster.

377
00:17:26,559 --> 00:17:29,360
The environment is a disaster. X is a

378
00:17:28,720 --> 00:17:30,240
disaster.

379
00:17:29,360 --> 00:17:33,252
>> You're stoned.

380
00:17:30,240 --> 00:17:34,080
>> Our planet is poisoned. oceans, the air

381
00:17:33,252 --> 00:17:37,360
[singing]

382
00:17:34,080 --> 00:17:39,919
around and beneath and above you.

383
00:17:37,360 --> 00:17:41,280
>> Um, Henry, that's true. [singing] And I

384
00:17:39,919 --> 00:17:44,480
totally care.

385
00:17:41,280 --> 00:17:45,200
>> I'm trying to tell you I love you.

386
00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:47,600
>> What?

387
00:17:45,200 --> 00:17:50,160
>> The world is at war filled with death

388
00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:52,720
and disease. We dance [music] on the

389
00:17:50,160 --> 00:17:55,520
edge of destruction.

390
00:17:52,720 --> 00:17:56,799
The globe's getting warmer by deadly

391
00:17:55,520 --> 00:17:59,039
degrees. [singing]

392
00:17:56,799 --> 00:18:01,039
>> And this is one [ __ ] up [music]

393
00:17:59,039 --> 00:18:04,559
seduction.

394
00:18:01,039 --> 00:18:06,799
This planet is pretty much broken beyond

395
00:18:04,559 --> 00:18:09,520
all [singing] repair.

396
00:18:06,799 --> 00:18:13,862
But one thing is working

397
00:18:09,520 --> 00:18:14,720
if you're standing there

398
00:18:13,862 --> 00:18:17,919
[music]

399
00:18:14,720 --> 00:18:22,160
perfect for you.

400
00:18:17,919 --> 00:18:26,160
I could be perfect for you.

401
00:18:22,160 --> 00:18:29,280
I might be lazy, a loner, a bit of a

402
00:18:26,160 --> 00:18:33,200
stoner. It's true.

403
00:18:29,280 --> 00:18:36,160
Thought I might be perfect.

404
00:18:33,200 --> 00:18:39,280
I'll make myself perfect. Perfect for

405
00:18:36,160 --> 00:18:40,880
you. You square all the corners. I

406
00:18:39,280 --> 00:18:43,440
straighten the curve.

407
00:18:40,880 --> 00:18:45,520
>> You've got some nerves, Henry. And I'm

408
00:18:43,440 --> 00:18:48,720
just a nerd. [music]

409
00:18:45,520 --> 00:18:51,360
>> But if everything else turns to dirt,

410
00:18:48,720 --> 00:18:54,528
we'll be the one [music] in this world

411
00:18:51,360 --> 00:18:54,528
that won't hurt. [singing]

412
00:18:57,200 --> 00:19:06,799
I can't fix what's [ __ ] up.

413
00:19:00,960 --> 00:19:11,280
But one thing I know [singing] I can do.

414
00:19:06,799 --> 00:19:17,559
I can be perfect for you.

415
00:19:11,280 --> 00:19:17,559
I can be [music] perfect for you.

416
00:19:18,400 --> 00:19:25,320
>> Perfect

417
00:19:20,880 --> 00:19:25,320
for you.

418
00:19:44,559 --> 00:19:47,360
Nice house.

419
00:19:46,559 --> 00:19:50,160
Can I come in?

420
00:19:47,360 --> 00:19:50,160
>> Oh my god. No.

421
00:19:52,240 --> 00:19:58,600
Are you spying on your own daughter?

422
00:19:54,640 --> 00:19:58,600
>> When did she get a boyfriend?

423
00:19:59,600 --> 00:20:03,600
>> How did I miss this?

424
00:20:01,919 --> 00:20:07,720
>> Well,

425
00:20:03,600 --> 00:20:07,720
you kind of miss a [music] lot.

426
00:20:10,880 --> 00:20:16,000
>> You think they're in love?

427
00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:17,840
>> Who knows?

428
00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:22,240
They're young.

429
00:20:17,840 --> 00:20:23,440
They're horny. It happens.

430
00:20:22,240 --> 00:20:24,160
>> Marry me.

431
00:20:23,440 --> 00:20:27,200
>> What?

432
00:20:24,160 --> 00:20:29,360
>> Marry me. Let's have a family.

433
00:20:27,200 --> 00:20:33,039
>> Now, now I I I know we're too young, but

434
00:20:29,360 --> 00:20:35,440
we're not. I'm almost 22. And h how do

435
00:20:33,039 --> 00:20:37,520
you know that this isn't a sign saying

436
00:20:35,440 --> 00:20:39,280
we belong together?

437
00:20:37,520 --> 00:20:42,320
>> How do you know it's not a sign saying

438
00:20:39,280 --> 00:20:46,480
get new rubbers?

439
00:20:42,320 --> 00:20:50,000
>> Because I know it's not. I love you. And

440
00:20:46,480 --> 00:20:51,600
this baby [laughter]

441
00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:52,000
>> Dan,

442
00:20:51,600 --> 00:20:54,000
>> this is

443
00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:57,640
>> this is crazy.

444
00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:57,640
>> Maybe it is.

445
00:21:22,320 --> 00:21:26,120
when I flew

446
00:21:29,280 --> 00:21:32,280
wild

447
00:21:35,604 --> 00:21:37,624
[singing]

448
00:21:41,360 --> 00:21:49,159
feel the fire.

449
00:21:44,799 --> 00:21:49,159
Now I know she

450
00:21:53,120 --> 00:21:56,120
I'mware

451
00:21:57,220 --> 00:21:59,240
[singing]

452
00:22:03,120 --> 00:22:09,720
seems they [singing] dry up all my

453
00:22:06,720 --> 00:22:09,720
tears.

454
00:22:09,840 --> 00:22:16,480
And while [singing] she runs free

455
00:22:13,679 --> 00:22:21,280
fast,

456
00:22:16,480 --> 00:22:24,840
seems my wild days

457
00:22:21,280 --> 00:22:24,840
are pass.

458
00:22:40,640 --> 00:22:44,679
I miss

459
00:22:45,600 --> 00:22:49,600
all the [singing]

460
00:22:46,880 --> 00:22:54,679
magic days [music]

461
00:22:49,600 --> 00:22:54,679
and the dark depressing nights.

462
00:22:55,520 --> 00:23:00,200
I miss the mountains.

463
00:23:01,360 --> 00:23:06,320
I miss the highs [singing and music] and

464
00:23:04,159 --> 00:23:10,159
lows.

465
00:23:06,320 --> 00:23:12,000
All the climbing, all the falling,

466
00:23:10,159 --> 00:23:13,520
all the [singing] while the wild wind

467
00:23:12,000 --> 00:23:16,476
blows,

468
00:23:13,520 --> 00:23:17,200
stinging you with snow and soaking

469
00:23:16,476 --> 00:23:21,559
[singing]

470
00:23:17,200 --> 00:23:21,559
you with rain.

471
00:23:21,716 --> 00:23:23,736
[singing]

472
00:23:33,200 --> 00:23:39,401
Mountains [singing and music] make you

473
00:23:34,480 --> 00:23:41,760
crazy. Here it's safe and sound. My mind

474
00:23:39,401 --> 00:23:44,960
[singing and music] is somewhere hazy.

475
00:23:41,760 --> 00:23:48,320
My feet are on the ground.

476
00:23:44,960 --> 00:23:51,039
Everything is balanced here and on an

477
00:23:48,320 --> 00:23:52,159
even kill.

478
00:23:51,039 --> 00:23:56,360
Everything [singing]

479
00:23:52,159 --> 00:23:56,360
is perfect.

480
00:23:57,919 --> 00:24:02,120
Nothing's real.

481
00:24:04,320 --> 00:24:08,280
Nothing's real.

482
00:24:09,679 --> 00:24:14,771
And I

483
00:24:12,400 --> 00:24:16,400
miss the mountain.

484
00:24:14,771 --> 00:24:18,000
[music]

485
00:24:16,400 --> 00:24:21,600
I

486
00:24:18,000 --> 00:24:25,360
miss the lonely time.

487
00:24:21,600 --> 00:24:28,799
Wandering [music] through the wilderness

488
00:24:25,360 --> 00:24:33,111
and spending all [singing] my time where

489
00:24:28,799 --> 00:24:35,786
the air is clear and cuts you like

490
00:24:33,111 --> 00:24:35,786
[music] the night. [singing]

491
00:24:36,159 --> 00:24:41,400
I

492
00:24:37,679 --> 00:24:41,400
miss the mountain.

493
00:24:42,282 --> 00:24:44,302
[singing]

494
00:24:49,919 --> 00:24:53,159
I miss

495
00:25:00,640 --> 00:25:08,120
I miss my

496
00:25:05,120 --> 00:25:08,120
life.

497
00:25:13,722 --> 00:25:15,742
[applause and cheering]

498
00:25:20,272 --> 00:25:22,292
>> [applause]

499
00:25:24,857 --> 00:25:26,877
[applause]

500
00:25:35,200 --> 00:25:42,520
>> Are you sure about this, Mom?

501
00:25:38,559 --> 00:25:42,520
>> What? You think it's a bad idea?

502
00:25:46,159 --> 00:25:50,120
I think it's a great idea.

503
00:25:50,400 --> 00:25:54,120
I think you're brave.

504
00:25:55,039 --> 00:26:00,640
>> What will your father think?

505
00:25:58,080 --> 00:26:04,279
>> Nothing.

506
00:26:00,640 --> 00:26:04,279
If he doesn't know

507
00:26:14,159 --> 00:26:20,080
It's going to [music] be good.

508
00:26:17,360 --> 00:26:23,720
It's going to be good.

509
00:26:20,080 --> 00:26:23,720
It's going to [music] be good.

510
00:26:24,080 --> 00:26:28,080
>> It's going to be good. It's going to be

511
00:26:26,159 --> 00:26:29,840
good. Two weeks and it's all working

512
00:26:28,080 --> 00:26:31,600
just the way I knew [singing] it would.

513
00:26:29,840 --> 00:26:34,320
And I don't sit at work. Just waiting

514
00:26:31,600 --> 00:26:40,279
for the phone to ring. It's good, good,

515
00:26:34,320 --> 00:26:40,279
good, good ring. Honey,

516
00:26:41,200 --> 00:26:45,360
>> hello. Oh, hi, sweetie.

517
00:26:44,159 --> 00:26:46,720
>> Everything's great. [music] Fantastic. I

518
00:26:45,360 --> 00:26:48,880
disinfected the entire house, rewired

519
00:26:46,720 --> 00:26:50,720
the computer, and did some decopage.

520
00:26:48,880 --> 00:26:55,120
>> Okay, bye-bye.

521
00:26:50,720 --> 00:26:55,903
Next, I think I'll retile the roof.

522
00:26:55,120 --> 00:26:56,720
>> It's going to be great.

523
00:26:55,903 --> 00:26:58,880
[music and singing]

524
00:26:56,720 --> 00:27:01,039
>> It's going to be great. Is still

525
00:26:58,880 --> 00:27:03,108
amazing, and we don't stay up that late.

526
00:27:01,039 --> 00:27:04,960
It's almost a month, and she's as happy

527
00:27:03,108 --> 00:27:07,200
[music] as a

528
00:27:04,960 --> 00:27:09,840
Do I look great? I am.

529
00:27:07,200 --> 00:27:11,919
Look, I'd ask you in, but it's too soon.

530
00:27:09,840 --> 00:27:14,000
>> We've been going out for 9 weeks and 3

531
00:27:11,919 --> 00:27:16,240
days. Don't you get to meet your family?

532
00:27:14,000 --> 00:27:18,720
>> Oh, you keep count.

533
00:27:16,240 --> 00:27:21,840
>> You're so the girl. I know.

534
00:27:18,720 --> 00:27:22,480
>> Natalie and this must be Harry.

535
00:27:21,840 --> 00:27:24,000
>> It's Henry.

536
00:27:22,480 --> 00:27:26,080
>> Pleasure to FINALLY MEET YOU. COME ON

537
00:27:24,000 --> 00:27:28,480
IN. WHY DON'T YOU JOIN us for dinner?

538
00:27:26,080 --> 00:27:32,159
>> Dad, no. Henry

539
00:27:28,480 --> 00:27:32,480
really can't stay. He's got

540
00:27:32,159 --> 00:27:33,520
a

541
00:27:32,480 --> 00:27:34,080
>> It's going to be good.

542
00:27:33,520 --> 00:27:35,440
>> Homework.

543
00:27:34,080 --> 00:27:37,440
>> It's going to be good. We're going to

544
00:27:35,440 --> 00:27:39,600
sit right down together like a happy

545
00:27:37,440 --> 00:27:42,640
family should and eat and talk and laugh

546
00:27:39,600 --> 00:27:44,559
and joke my pride, my brute and me. It's

547
00:27:42,640 --> 00:27:46,240
going to be good to see. We'll smile and

548
00:27:44,559 --> 00:27:47,840
chat and just like that. We'll all be

549
00:27:46,240 --> 00:27:49,039
all [music] okay. It's going to be

550
00:27:47,840 --> 00:27:50,240
great. It's going to be great. It's

551
00:27:49,039 --> 00:27:52,320
going to be going to be going to be

552
00:27:50,240 --> 00:27:54,080
great that way. [music]

553
00:27:52,320 --> 00:27:57,360
Hey,

554
00:27:54,080 --> 00:27:59,120
it's going to be good. It's going to be

555
00:27:57,360 --> 00:28:02,080
my

556
00:27:59,120 --> 00:28:04,960
family. [singing] Even talking to my

557
00:28:02,080 --> 00:28:06,399
family and me. It's going to be good.

558
00:28:04,960 --> 00:28:10,399
Going to be [music] good. Going to be

559
00:28:06,399 --> 00:28:13,840
going be good.

560
00:28:10,399 --> 00:28:17,124
good good be.

561
00:28:13,840 --> 00:28:18,480
>> Okay. It's somebody's birthday.

562
00:28:17,124 --> 00:28:22,279
[laughter]

563
00:28:18,480 --> 00:28:22,279
>> Whose birthday is it?

564
00:28:23,360 --> 00:28:26,240
>> My brother's.

565
00:28:24,720 --> 00:28:30,120
>> Oh,

566
00:28:26,240 --> 00:28:30,120
I didn't know you had a brother.

567
00:28:30,159 --> 00:28:33,480
I don't

568
00:28:33,760 --> 00:28:38,279
He died before I was born.

569
00:28:39,120 --> 00:28:45,240
What?

570
00:28:41,840 --> 00:28:45,240
What is it?

571
00:28:45,840 --> 00:28:49,640
He's not [music] here.

572
00:28:49,919 --> 00:28:54,559
He's not here.

573
00:28:53,039 --> 00:28:59,320
Love,

574
00:28:54,559 --> 00:28:59,320
I know you know.

575
00:29:00,880 --> 00:29:07,039
Do you feel

576
00:29:03,600 --> 00:29:12,200
he's still [music] real

577
00:29:07,039 --> 00:29:12,200
love? It's just not so. [singing]

578
00:29:14,159 --> 00:29:19,405
Why is it you still believe? [singing]

579
00:29:19,679 --> 00:29:26,720
Do you dream

580
00:29:22,480 --> 00:29:31,559
or do you grieve?

581
00:29:26,720 --> 00:29:31,559
You've got to let him go.

582
00:29:34,080 --> 00:29:41,480
He's [music] been dead

583
00:29:37,520 --> 00:29:41,480
all these years.

584
00:29:46,240 --> 00:29:51,200
Not here.

585
00:29:49,440 --> 00:29:51,840
This is [ __ ]

586
00:29:51,200 --> 00:29:55,480
>> language.

587
00:29:51,840 --> 00:29:55,480
>> No, [ __ ] this.

588
00:29:56,880 --> 00:30:01,080
>> It was wonderful to meet you both.

589
00:30:11,760 --> 00:30:16,200
What about the new meds?

590
00:30:17,840 --> 00:30:20,559
We have the happiest septic tank on the

591
00:30:19,600 --> 00:30:22,559
block.

592
00:30:20,559 --> 00:30:24,080
>> You

593
00:30:22,559 --> 00:30:27,200
Jesus died. They were working.

594
00:30:24,080 --> 00:30:29,200
>> They weren't really.

595
00:30:27,200 --> 00:30:30,480
>> All right. Um, we'll get a new round.

596
00:30:29,200 --> 00:30:31,200
We'll go back TO DR. FINE.

597
00:30:30,480 --> 00:30:34,799
>> NO,

598
00:30:31,200 --> 00:30:36,559
>> DIANA. LOOK, I know this is hard.

599
00:30:34,799 --> 00:30:38,080
>> Oh, you know.

600
00:30:36,559 --> 00:30:39,440
>> Really?

601
00:30:38,080 --> 00:30:41,679
>> What exactly do you know?

602
00:30:39,440 --> 00:30:44,501
>> I know that you're hurting. All right. I

603
00:30:41,679 --> 00:30:47,279
am, too. Do you wake up in the morning

604
00:30:44,501 --> 00:30:50,640
[music] and need help to lift your head?

605
00:30:47,279 --> 00:30:53,279
Do you read obituaries and feel jealous

606
00:30:50,640 --> 00:30:56,000
of the [music] dead? It's like living on

607
00:30:53,279 --> 00:30:58,960
a cliffside, not knowing when you'll

608
00:30:56,000 --> 00:31:01,919
die. [music] Do you know? Do you know

609
00:30:58,960 --> 00:31:04,720
what it's like to die alive? When a

610
00:31:01,919 --> 00:31:06,080
world that once had color fades to white

611
00:31:04,720 --> 00:31:09,039
and gray black. [music]

612
00:31:06,080 --> 00:31:12,011
When tomorrow terrifies you, when you'll

613
00:31:09,039 --> 00:31:13,200
die and you look back, you don't know.

614
00:31:12,011 --> 00:31:16,399
[singing]

615
00:31:13,200 --> 00:31:18,799
I know [music] you don't know. You say

616
00:31:16,399 --> 00:31:22,640
that you're hurting. It sure [music]

617
00:31:18,799 --> 00:31:26,080
doesn't show. You don't know. [singing]

618
00:31:22,640 --> 00:31:29,360
It lays me so [music] low when you say

619
00:31:26,080 --> 00:31:32,971
let go. [singing] And I say

620
00:31:29,360 --> 00:31:34,240
you don't know

621
00:31:32,971 --> 00:31:37,120
[singing]

622
00:31:34,240 --> 00:31:40,000
the sensation that you're screaming that

623
00:31:37,120 --> 00:31:41,360
you never make a sound or the feeling

624
00:31:40,000 --> 00:31:44,320
that you're falling [music]

625
00:31:41,360 --> 00:31:47,120
but you never hit the ground. It just

626
00:31:44,320 --> 00:31:49,919
keeps on rushing at you day by day by

627
00:31:47,120 --> 00:31:52,559
day [music] by day. You don't know. You

628
00:31:49,919 --> 00:31:56,720
don't know what it's like to live that

629
00:31:52,559 --> 00:31:59,279
way. Like a refugee, a fugitive forever

630
00:31:56,720 --> 00:32:01,919
on the run. [music] If it gets me, it

631
00:31:59,279 --> 00:32:03,039
will kill me. But I don't know what I

632
00:32:01,919 --> 00:32:06,432
am.

633
00:32:03,039 --> 00:32:06,432
>> Can you tell me [music]

634
00:32:06,720 --> 00:32:11,559
what it is you're [singing] afraid of?

635
00:32:11,679 --> 00:32:18,167
And can you tell me why I'm afraid? It's

636
00:32:15,600 --> 00:32:21,960
me.

637
00:32:18,167 --> 00:32:21,960
[music] Can I touch you?

638
00:32:22,080 --> 00:32:26,919
We've been fine for so long now.

639
00:32:27,120 --> 00:32:36,919
How could something [music] go wrong

640
00:32:29,120 --> 00:32:36,919
that I can see? Cuz I'm holding on

641
00:32:37,279 --> 00:32:44,480
and I won't let go.

642
00:32:41,120 --> 00:32:48,000
I just thought you should know. [music]

643
00:32:44,480 --> 00:32:50,917
I am the one who knows you. I am the one

644
00:32:48,000 --> 00:32:53,592
who cares. I am the one who's always

645
00:32:50,917 --> 00:32:53,592
[music] been there. [singing]

646
00:32:54,720 --> 00:33:01,760
I am the one who's helped you. And if

647
00:32:57,760 --> 00:33:07,320
you think that I just don't give a damn,

648
00:33:01,760 --> 00:33:07,320
that you just don't know who I am.

649
00:33:09,257 --> 00:33:10,480
[music]

650
00:33:09,279 --> 00:33:13,200
>> Could you leave me?

651
00:33:10,480 --> 00:33:16,960
>> Hey, [singing] Dad, it's me.

652
00:33:13,200 --> 00:33:18,480
>> Could you let me go under? Why can't you

653
00:33:16,960 --> 00:33:20,559
see?

654
00:33:18,480 --> 00:33:24,559
She watches I drown. [music]

655
00:33:20,559 --> 00:33:25,360
>> I wonder why.

656
00:33:24,559 --> 00:33:26,720
>> Are you bleeding?

657
00:33:25,360 --> 00:33:28,399
>> Are you waiting? Are you wishing? Are

658
00:33:26,720 --> 00:33:30,399
you wanting all that she can't give?

659
00:33:28,399 --> 00:33:31,919
>> Are you bruised? Are you broken?

660
00:33:30,399 --> 00:33:33,679
>> Are you hurting? Are you healing? Are

661
00:33:31,919 --> 00:33:38,799
you hoping for a life [music] to live?

662
00:33:33,679 --> 00:33:42,663
>> Does it help you to know? Well, so am I.

663
00:33:38,799 --> 00:33:43,760
>> Tell me what to [music] do. Look at me.

664
00:33:42,663 --> 00:33:46,480
[singing]

665
00:33:43,760 --> 00:33:50,880
for me who

666
00:33:46,480 --> 00:33:54,000
looks and see when you see

667
00:33:50,880 --> 00:33:56,640
I am the one [music] who holds I am I am

668
00:33:54,000 --> 00:33:59,748
the one who stay

669
00:33:56,640 --> 00:33:59,748
I won't walk away [music]

670
00:34:00,159 --> 00:34:06,240
yeah I am the one who I am now you

671
00:34:04,278 --> 00:34:09,040
[music and singing] tell me that I won't

672
00:34:06,240 --> 00:34:10,399
give a name

673
00:34:09,040 --> 00:34:13,960
you know [music]

674
00:34:10,399 --> 00:34:13,960
I am

675
00:34:14,879 --> 00:34:18,839
that's I am

676
00:34:20,000 --> 00:34:23,960
that's who I [music] am

677
00:34:25,200 --> 00:34:29,159
that's who I am

678
00:34:30,000 --> 00:34:36,079
cuz I'm holding [music] on

679
00:34:32,800 --> 00:34:38,240
>> you say you hurt like me [singing]

680
00:34:36,079 --> 00:34:42,159
>> I won't let [music] go

681
00:34:38,240 --> 00:34:42,159
>> you say that you love

682
00:34:43,578 --> 00:34:48,119
>> [music]

683
00:34:44,480 --> 00:34:48,119
>> You don't know.

684
00:34:48,818 --> 00:34:50,838
[music]

685
00:34:51,839 --> 00:34:55,424
>> It's always [music]

686
00:34:59,299 --> 00:35:01,319
[music]

687
00:35:03,599 --> 00:35:08,400
You just don't know who I am.

688
00:35:06,880 --> 00:35:14,000
>> You don't know

689
00:35:08,400 --> 00:35:19,640
>> who I am. You don't know who I just

690
00:35:14,000 --> 00:35:19,640
don't know who I [singing] am.

691
00:35:25,499 --> 00:35:27,519
[applause]

692
00:35:30,084 --> 00:35:32,104
[applause]

693
00:35:34,800 --> 00:35:42,480
When she gets like this, she's useless.

694
00:35:38,240 --> 00:35:46,680
Ken, use the phone. Ken drive. Ken.

695
00:35:42,480 --> 00:35:46,680
>> Well, I bet she's got great pills.

696
00:35:47,839 --> 00:35:53,200
I mean, not that I would go there.

697
00:35:50,880 --> 00:35:55,359
That shit's inorganic.

698
00:35:53,200 --> 00:36:01,040
>> I'm totally ineffective, apparently.

699
00:35:55,359 --> 00:36:02,720
>> No, me. I'm old school. A dying breed.

700
00:36:01,040 --> 00:36:04,640
You see all the preppies and and the

701
00:36:02,720 --> 00:36:08,000
jocks, they're raiding their parents'

702
00:36:04,640 --> 00:36:09,280
medicine cabinets. the popping ZX and

703
00:36:08,000 --> 00:36:10,000
snorting Aderall.

704
00:36:09,280 --> 00:36:13,520
>> Really?

705
00:36:10,000 --> 00:36:18,000
>> But me, I'm the master of the lost art

706
00:36:13,520 --> 00:36:23,640
of making a pipe out of an apple.

707
00:36:18,000 --> 00:36:23,640
>> Yeah, you're the Macgyver of pot.

708
00:36:23,839 --> 00:36:29,035
>> You promise this will help?

709
00:36:25,680 --> 00:36:31,055
>> No. What?

710
00:36:29,035 --> 00:36:31,055
[music]

711
00:36:32,079 --> 00:36:35,760
Son [singing] of steel and daughter of

712
00:36:34,079 --> 00:36:39,040
rare.

713
00:36:35,760 --> 00:36:41,535
He's a hero, a lover, a prince. She's

714
00:36:39,040 --> 00:36:41,535
not there. [singing]

715
00:36:42,790 --> 00:36:46,640
[music] Super boy and the invisible

716
00:36:44,880 --> 00:36:50,079
girl. [singing]

717
00:36:46,640 --> 00:36:51,359
Everything a kid ought to be.

718
00:36:50,079 --> 00:36:57,240
He's immortal, [music]

719
00:36:51,359 --> 00:36:57,240
forever alive. [singing] And there's me.

720
00:36:57,440 --> 00:37:05,200
I [music] wish I could fly and magically

721
00:37:02,000 --> 00:37:08,960
appear and disappear. [singing]

722
00:37:05,200 --> 00:37:15,119
I wish I could fly.

723
00:37:08,960 --> 00:37:17,040
I'd fly far away from here.

724
00:37:15,119 --> 00:37:18,640
Super boy and the invisible [singing]

725
00:37:17,040 --> 00:37:20,400
girl.

726
00:37:18,640 --> 00:37:22,160
He's [music] the one you wish would

727
00:37:20,400 --> 00:37:25,520
appear.

728
00:37:22,160 --> 00:37:30,480
He's your hero forever. your son. He's

729
00:37:25,520 --> 00:37:33,839
not here. I [singing] am here.

730
00:37:30,480 --> 00:37:37,810
No, that's not true. You're our little

731
00:37:33,839 --> 00:37:41,680
pride and joy. Our perfect plan. You

732
00:37:37,810 --> 00:37:47,480
[music] know I love you.

733
00:37:41,680 --> 00:37:47,480
I love you as much as I can.

734
00:37:50,560 --> 00:37:57,520
Take a look at the invisible girl.

735
00:37:53,920 --> 00:38:00,400
Here she is, clear as [music] the day.

736
00:37:57,520 --> 00:38:04,066
Please look closely and find her before

737
00:38:00,400 --> 00:38:04,066
she fades away. [singing]

738
00:38:04,960 --> 00:38:12,079
Super boy, invisible girl. [music]

739
00:38:08,480 --> 00:38:14,880
Son of a daughter of air.

740
00:38:12,079 --> 00:38:18,079
He's a hero, lover [music] of grace.

741
00:38:14,880 --> 00:38:21,280
She's not there.

742
00:38:18,079 --> 00:38:24,560
She's not there.

743
00:38:21,280 --> 00:38:24,560
She's not there.

744
00:38:24,800 --> 00:38:29,611
She's not there. [music]

745
00:38:35,451 --> 00:38:37,471
[applause]

746
00:38:42,656 --> 00:38:44,676
[applause]

747
00:38:45,040 --> 00:38:51,599
Let's not get discouraged. I will find a

748
00:38:49,280 --> 00:38:54,240
doctor who can treat you without the

749
00:38:51,599 --> 00:38:56,800
drugs. Right? There is someone out there

750
00:38:54,240 --> 00:38:59,119
for you. In the depression forums, they

751
00:38:56,800 --> 00:39:01,040
say it's like dating. You know, you have

752
00:38:59,119 --> 00:39:01,760
to keep going until you find the right

753
00:39:01,040 --> 00:39:03,760
match.

754
00:39:01,760 --> 00:39:06,800
>> They have depression forums.

755
00:39:03,760 --> 00:39:09,359
>> Yeah. And uh this doctor is supposed to

756
00:39:06,800 --> 00:39:10,960
be fantastic. Like a real rock star.

757
00:39:09,359 --> 00:39:11,520
Three different women at work gave me

758
00:39:10,960 --> 00:39:14,752
his name.

759
00:39:11,520 --> 00:39:16,772
>> Three women at work know I'm nuts.

760
00:39:14,752 --> 00:39:16,772
[clears throat]

761
00:39:17,680 --> 00:39:21,302
Diana,

762
00:39:19,200 --> 00:39:23,322
this way please.

763
00:39:21,302 --> 00:39:23,322
[music]

764
00:39:30,320 --> 00:39:34,880
>> What did you just say?

765
00:39:31,920 --> 00:39:38,240
>> I said, "Welcome. I'm Dr. Madden. Have a

766
00:39:34,880 --> 00:39:42,760
seat. It's It's nice to meet you."

767
00:39:38,240 --> 00:39:42,760
>> Let's get it on [music] now, baby.

768
00:39:45,119 --> 00:39:47,599
>> Excuse me. What

769
00:39:46,000 --> 00:39:49,280
>> I said? Let's get started. Are you

770
00:39:47,599 --> 00:39:53,280
nervous, Diana?

771
00:39:49,280 --> 00:39:56,960
>> I am a little um a bit out of breath.

772
00:39:53,280 --> 00:39:58,400
Tingly, actually. Uh now you go.

773
00:39:56,960 --> 00:39:59,839
>> Uh let's start by getting to know each

774
00:39:58,400 --> 00:40:02,240
other a bit. Psychotherapy and

775
00:39:59,839 --> 00:40:04,079
medication work best in tandem. But we

776
00:40:02,240 --> 00:40:07,680
can try the first alone and see how far

777
00:40:04,079 --> 00:40:11,119
we get. Why don't you tell me, baby,

778
00:40:07,680 --> 00:40:13,047
what's your history? Where'd you go? Who

779
00:40:11,119 --> 00:40:15,067
you see?

780
00:40:13,047 --> 00:40:15,067
[screaming]

781
00:40:16,240 --> 00:40:23,599
Um, my history.

782
00:40:18,960 --> 00:40:25,280
>> Okay. Uh, I was diagnosed bipolar wow 16

783
00:40:23,599 --> 00:40:26,800
years ago. Uh, but it it turned out

784
00:40:25,280 --> 00:40:28,640
bipolar didn't totally cover it.

785
00:40:26,800 --> 00:40:30,400
>> Often the best we can do is put names to

786
00:40:28,640 --> 00:40:31,760
collections of symptoms. It's possible

787
00:40:30,400 --> 00:40:33,280
bipolar has more in common with

788
00:40:31,760 --> 00:40:34,880
schizophrenia than depression.

789
00:40:33,280 --> 00:40:36,960
>> Yeah. When I was young, my mother called

790
00:40:34,880 --> 00:40:38,480
me high-spirited.

791
00:40:36,960 --> 00:40:40,800
>> She would know she was so high-spirited

792
00:40:38,480 --> 00:40:42,720
they banned her from the PTA. Sometimes

793
00:40:40,800 --> 00:40:44,960
we have a predisposition to illness, but

794
00:40:42,720 --> 00:40:47,040
actual onset is often triggered by some

795
00:40:44,960 --> 00:40:48,320
traumatic event.

796
00:40:47,040 --> 00:40:50,000
>> Look, I never know what to say when I

797
00:40:48,320 --> 00:40:51,520
have to go over all this. Starts to

798
00:40:50,000 --> 00:40:52,880
sound like some story I tell about some

799
00:40:51,520 --> 00:40:55,520
other person entirely.

800
00:40:52,880 --> 00:41:00,240
>> Why don't you tell me about the last

801
00:40:55,520 --> 00:41:02,720
time you truly felt happy?

802
00:41:00,240 --> 00:41:04,319
Were you happy when you got married?

803
00:41:02,720 --> 00:41:05,599
>> Yeah, I thought I was.

804
00:41:04,319 --> 00:41:07,680
>> There's a difference between being happy

805
00:41:05,599 --> 00:41:08,960
and just thinking that you're happy. Oh,

806
00:41:07,680 --> 00:41:11,839
most people who think they're happy just

807
00:41:08,960 --> 00:41:13,040
haven't thought about it enough.

808
00:41:11,839 --> 00:41:14,000
>> Most people who think they're happy are

809
00:41:13,040 --> 00:41:14,960
actually just stupid.

810
00:41:14,000 --> 00:41:18,000
>> Uhhuh.

811
00:41:14,960 --> 00:41:21,240
>> I see. Uh, were you happy when your son

812
00:41:18,000 --> 00:41:21,240
was born?

813
00:41:22,880 --> 00:41:27,960
>> My son?

814
00:41:24,400 --> 00:41:27,960
>> Tell me about him.

815
00:41:28,160 --> 00:41:34,240
>> About my son?

816
00:41:29,920 --> 00:41:36,888
>> Why is he still around? Who is he? What

817
00:41:34,240 --> 00:41:38,880
is he? I am what [music] you want

818
00:41:36,888 --> 00:41:44,000
[singing] me to be and I'm your worst

819
00:41:38,880 --> 00:41:45,359
fear. You'll find it in me. Come closer.

820
00:41:44,000 --> 00:41:47,599
Come closer.

821
00:41:45,359 --> 00:41:50,480
>> Where does he come from? Do you think

822
00:41:47,599 --> 00:41:53,599
>> I am more than memory? I am what it

823
00:41:50,480 --> 00:41:55,760
might be. I am mystery. You know [music]

824
00:41:53,599 --> 00:41:58,504
me.

825
00:41:55,760 --> 00:42:00,800
So show me.

826
00:41:58,504 --> 00:42:05,054
[music] When I

827
00:42:00,800 --> 00:42:05,119
hear it's not so clear.

828
00:42:05,054 --> 00:42:08,720
>> [music]

829
00:42:05,119 --> 00:42:10,400
>> I'm a sinful spirit or I'm flesh and

830
00:42:08,720 --> 00:42:13,599
blood.

831
00:42:10,400 --> 00:42:15,119
But I'm alive. I'm alive. I'm so alive.

832
00:42:13,599 --> 00:42:17,920
And I need all [music] the fear that's

833
00:42:15,119 --> 00:42:20,774
behind your eyes. And I need you to meet

834
00:42:17,920 --> 00:42:22,240
me. It's no surprise. I'm alive. [music]

835
00:42:20,774 --> 00:42:25,280
[singing]

836
00:42:22,240 --> 00:42:27,440
I'm so alive.

837
00:42:25,280 --> 00:42:29,920
I'm alive.

838
00:42:27,440 --> 00:42:30,240
>> Four times a week. That's a lot, isn't

839
00:42:29,920 --> 00:42:33,119
it?

840
00:42:30,240 --> 00:42:34,800
>> Um, it's what the doctor recommended.

841
00:42:33,119 --> 00:42:35,920
This is never going to get better, is

842
00:42:34,800 --> 00:42:37,920
it?

843
00:42:35,920 --> 00:42:40,000
>> He's never going away.

844
00:42:37,920 --> 00:42:41,119
>> I don't know, Natalie.

845
00:42:40,000 --> 00:42:42,800
>> You know, this is one of those moments

846
00:42:41,119 --> 00:42:45,119
where you could just be a typical parent

847
00:42:42,800 --> 00:42:46,000
and lie. Say yes.

848
00:42:45,119 --> 00:42:49,599
>> Yes.

849
00:42:46,000 --> 00:42:52,880
>> Ah, thanks. That's comforting.

850
00:42:49,599 --> 00:42:56,079
>> I am flame [music] and I am fire. I am

851
00:42:52,880 --> 00:42:58,480
destruction. Decay I desire. I'll burn

852
00:42:56,079 --> 00:42:59,359
you. You know, Natalie, I'll [music]

853
00:42:58,480 --> 00:43:01,760
heal you.

854
00:42:59,359 --> 00:43:04,319
>> It's not all about your comfort. I'm

855
00:43:01,760 --> 00:43:05,760
your wish, your dream come true. And I

856
00:43:04,319 --> 00:43:08,880
am your [music] darkest [singing]

857
00:43:05,760 --> 00:43:11,359
nightmare, too. I show you. It's about

858
00:43:08,880 --> 00:43:13,119
helping your mother. I owe [music]

859
00:43:11,359 --> 00:43:18,480
you as always.

860
00:43:13,119 --> 00:43:21,680
>> And though you made me, you can't change

861
00:43:18,480 --> 00:43:24,560
me. I'm the perfect stranger. [music]

862
00:43:21,680 --> 00:43:27,585
No.

863
00:43:24,560 --> 00:43:29,200
And I'm alive. I'm alive. I am so alive.

864
00:43:27,585 --> 00:43:32,160
[music] And I'll tell you the truth if

865
00:43:29,200 --> 00:43:36,400
you let me try. You're alive. I'm alive.

866
00:43:32,160 --> 00:43:39,440
And I'll show you why I'm alive.

867
00:43:36,400 --> 00:43:42,680
I'm so alive.

868
00:43:39,440 --> 00:43:42,680
I'm alive.

869
00:43:43,200 --> 00:43:48,000
Whispered off. [music]

870
00:43:45,280 --> 00:43:49,760
>> I'm alive.

871
00:43:48,000 --> 00:43:51,280
Valium

872
00:43:49,760 --> 00:43:54,520
Xanax.

873
00:43:51,280 --> 00:43:54,520
>> I'm alive.

874
00:43:54,560 --> 00:43:59,680
>> What the hell?

875
00:43:57,200 --> 00:44:04,200
I'm alive

876
00:43:59,680 --> 00:44:04,200
[music] right behind you.

877
00:44:04,720 --> 00:44:07,119
Forget

878
00:44:06,230 --> 00:44:10,119
[music]

879
00:44:07,119 --> 00:44:10,119
you.

880
00:44:10,240 --> 00:44:16,040
I know that I will find [music] you.

881
00:44:18,560 --> 00:44:24,040
You won't leave me behind.

882
00:44:26,800 --> 00:44:32,000
Let's say he's 18 now. Is that when kids

883
00:44:28,880 --> 00:44:34,800
move out? Is it a time to let him go?

884
00:44:32,000 --> 00:44:37,280
No. No. No. I'm alive. I'm alive. I am

885
00:44:34,800 --> 00:44:40,160
so [music] alive. You climb on my back

886
00:44:37,280 --> 00:44:44,720
and we both fight. If you try to deny

887
00:44:40,160 --> 00:44:46,840
me, I'll never [music] die. I'm alive.

888
00:44:44,720 --> 00:44:47,520
So alive.

889
00:44:46,840 --> 00:44:50,640
[music]

890
00:44:47,520 --> 00:44:53,040
I'm alive.

891
00:44:50,640 --> 00:44:56,721
Yeah. Yeah,

892
00:44:53,040 --> 00:44:56,721
I'm alive. [music]

893
00:45:09,766 --> 00:45:11,786
>> [music]

894
00:45:13,041 --> 00:45:15,061
[applause and cheering]

895
00:45:22,211 --> 00:45:24,231
[applause]

896
00:45:27,280 --> 00:45:32,720
>> It's been four weeks and I'd like to try

897
00:45:30,800 --> 00:45:35,839
something new today.

898
00:45:32,720 --> 00:45:40,160
Sometimes when these stories are hard to

899
00:45:35,839 --> 00:45:42,640
tell, hypnosis can be helpful. Oh,

900
00:45:40,160 --> 00:45:44,079
>> I uh I don't think I can be hypnotized.

901
00:45:42,640 --> 00:45:44,480
I mean, it's fine. I'm just not the

902
00:45:44,079 --> 00:45:48,920
type.

903
00:45:44,480 --> 00:45:48,920
>> Uh-huh. Put your feet on the floor.

904
00:45:50,240 --> 00:45:54,359
Your hands in your lap.

905
00:45:54,480 --> 00:46:00,960
Breathe.

906
00:45:57,280 --> 00:46:02,880
Walk. Walk.

907
00:46:00,960 --> 00:46:06,000
Go all [music and singing] the way down,

908
00:46:02,880 --> 00:46:09,920
down a long flight of stairs. Go step by

909
00:46:06,000 --> 00:46:12,400
step into the darkness down there.

910
00:46:09,920 --> 00:46:14,666
>> Should we turn on a light? You know, for

911
00:46:12,400 --> 00:46:14,666
the stairs. [music]

912
00:46:14,960 --> 00:46:22,319
>> Walk with me down a

913
00:46:19,200 --> 00:46:24,480
hole that you know. At the end there's a

914
00:46:22,319 --> 00:46:29,040
door. [music] It's a door that you've

915
00:46:24,480 --> 00:46:31,839
never laid [singing] eyes on before.

916
00:46:29,040 --> 00:46:35,960
Open the door.

917
00:46:31,839 --> 00:46:35,960
Open the door.

918
00:46:38,847 --> 00:46:40,867
[singing]

919
00:46:42,880 --> 00:46:48,359
>> Can you hear me, Diana?

920
00:46:45,359 --> 00:46:48,359
>> Yes.

921
00:46:50,560 --> 00:46:55,760
>> Are you nervous?

922
00:46:53,680 --> 00:46:58,760
>> No.

923
00:46:55,760 --> 00:46:58,760
>> Good.

924
00:46:59,839 --> 00:47:06,839
Now [snorts]

925
00:47:02,079 --> 00:47:06,839
make up your mind to experting

926
00:47:08,322 --> 00:47:10,342
[singing and music]

927
00:47:10,400 --> 00:47:18,319
your past for what sorrows may last.

928
00:47:13,680 --> 00:47:20,480
Then make up your mind to be well.

929
00:47:18,319 --> 00:47:25,359
Die, you come home from these sessions

930
00:47:20,480 --> 00:47:28,359
in tears. Is this helping or

931
00:47:25,359 --> 00:47:28,359
die?

932
00:47:28,880 --> 00:47:34,319
die.

933
00:47:30,160 --> 00:47:37,040
>> We were both undergrads architecture.

934
00:47:34,319 --> 00:47:40,160
The baby wasn't planned.

935
00:47:37,040 --> 00:47:41,599
Neither was the marriage.

936
00:47:40,160 --> 00:47:45,359
I'd [music] always expected to be too

937
00:47:41,599 --> 00:47:48,480
busy. But when the baby came, it all

938
00:47:45,359 --> 00:47:51,480
seemed to make sense

939
00:47:48,480 --> 00:47:51,480
until

940
00:47:52,319 --> 00:47:56,079
until

941
00:47:54,400 --> 00:48:01,040
>> until

942
00:47:56,079 --> 00:48:03,040
he's not here. He's not here.

943
00:48:01,040 --> 00:48:05,200
Oh, I know [music and singing] you know.

944
00:48:03,040 --> 00:48:06,880
>> Make up your mind that you're strong

945
00:48:05,200 --> 00:48:09,119
enough.

946
00:48:06,880 --> 00:48:12,720
Make up [music] your mind. Let the truth

947
00:48:09,119 --> 00:48:15,280
be revealed. Admit what you've lost and

948
00:48:12,720 --> 00:48:19,040
live with the cost. At times it [music]

949
00:48:15,280 --> 00:48:20,880
does hurt to be healed.

950
00:48:19,040 --> 00:48:22,480
In our first session, [music] you told

951
00:48:20,880 --> 00:48:26,520
me

952
00:48:22,480 --> 00:48:26,520
>> that talking through your history

953
00:48:28,800 --> 00:48:32,400
>> feels like it's about someone else.

954
00:48:31,508 --> 00:48:36,440
[singing and music]

955
00:48:32,400 --> 00:48:36,440
>> Make it about you.

956
00:48:38,713 --> 00:48:41,760
[snorts]

957
00:48:40,240 --> 00:48:46,480
>> Hey,

958
00:48:41,760 --> 00:48:49,200
I'm not supposed to be backstage, but uh

959
00:48:46,480 --> 00:48:50,079
for luck. Uh, did you see my parents out

960
00:48:49,200 --> 00:48:51,040
there?

961
00:48:50,079 --> 00:48:53,680
>> Are you okay?

962
00:48:51,040 --> 00:48:54,559
>> Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. My dad said they'd

963
00:48:53,680 --> 00:48:56,160
both be here.

964
00:48:54,559 --> 00:48:59,359
>> Okay. Well, I'm sure they will be.

965
00:48:56,160 --> 00:49:03,000
>> Will they

966
00:48:59,359 --> 00:49:03,000
had Natalie to?

967
00:49:05,599 --> 00:49:09,400
>> And I know she [music] knows.

968
00:49:09,520 --> 00:49:16,160
I couldn't hold her in the hospital.

969
00:49:13,839 --> 00:49:19,200
Where the hell are they?

970
00:49:16,160 --> 00:49:20,800
I couldn't [music] let myself hold her.

971
00:49:19,200 --> 00:49:23,599
>> That's the first time you've mentioned

972
00:49:20,800 --> 00:49:28,240
Natalie in [music] weeks of therapy.

973
00:49:23,599 --> 00:49:31,200
>> God damn it. She's not there.

974
00:49:28,240 --> 00:49:34,839
She's [music] not there.

975
00:49:31,200 --> 00:49:34,839
She's not there.

976
00:49:35,044 --> 00:49:42,400
[music] You come out to gravity.

977
00:49:38,720 --> 00:49:44,880
Take what you know and make it sense.

978
00:49:42,400 --> 00:49:47,920
Just face what you fear [music] and soon

979
00:49:44,880 --> 00:49:51,240
it comes clear. The visions are just

980
00:49:47,920 --> 00:49:51,240
your defense.

981
00:49:51,680 --> 00:49:58,520
>> Thank you for coming.

982
00:49:55,040 --> 00:49:58,520
>> Natalie Goodman,

983
00:50:02,559 --> 00:50:08,920
let's try to understand what all of this

984
00:50:04,319 --> 00:50:08,920
is doing to you and to your family.

985
00:50:11,920 --> 00:50:15,440
[ __ ]

986
00:50:12,319 --> 00:50:18,640
>> your grief for your son, your distance

987
00:50:15,440 --> 00:50:21,280
from Natalie.

988
00:50:18,640 --> 00:50:25,480
>> Sorry.

989
00:50:21,280 --> 00:50:25,480
Sorry. It's just um

990
00:50:26,000 --> 00:50:29,440
you know what the problem with classical

991
00:50:27,680 --> 00:50:31,680
is?

992
00:50:29,440 --> 00:50:34,800
It's so rigid

993
00:50:31,680 --> 00:50:36,800
and and structured. You you have to play

994
00:50:34,800 --> 00:50:41,200
the notes on the page. There's no room

995
00:50:36,800 --> 00:50:43,220
for improvisation. Oh no.

996
00:50:41,200 --> 00:50:43,220
[music]

997
00:50:49,680 --> 00:50:53,045
What's inside? [music]

998
00:51:00,880 --> 00:51:04,240
>> Unresolved loss can lead to depression.

999
00:51:02,815 --> 00:51:08,055
[music]

1000
00:51:04,240 --> 00:51:10,075
>> Fear of loss to anxiety. Flying head.

1001
00:51:08,055 --> 00:51:10,075
[singing]

1002
00:51:10,960 --> 00:51:16,400
>> The more you hold on to something you've

1003
00:51:13,359 --> 00:51:18,079
lost, the more you fear losing it.

1004
00:51:16,400 --> 00:51:20,720
>> Depression.

1005
00:51:18,079 --> 00:51:23,520
>> Anxiety. Depression. [music]

1006
00:51:20,720 --> 00:51:26,079
Anxiety. One gives rise to the other. It

1007
00:51:23,520 --> 00:51:29,359
becomes a cycle. [music and singing]

1008
00:51:26,079 --> 00:51:33,040
>> I'm falling. Catch me. I'm falling.

1009
00:51:29,359 --> 00:51:35,359
Catch me. I'm falling.

1010
00:51:33,040 --> 00:51:38,000
Wouldn't you like to be free from all of

1011
00:51:35,359 --> 00:51:40,319
that finally?

1012
00:51:38,000 --> 00:51:42,480
Wouldn't you like to go home, clear out

1013
00:51:40,319 --> 00:51:46,800
his things, maybe spend some time with

1014
00:51:42,480 --> 00:51:49,359
your daughter, and let your son go

1015
00:51:46,800 --> 00:51:52,760
at last?

1016
00:51:49,359 --> 00:51:52,760
Should we go?

1017
00:51:52,960 --> 00:51:54,960
>> Yes.

1018
00:51:53,280 --> 00:51:56,960
>> Yes.

1019
00:51:54,960 --> 00:52:00,520
>> Mom.

1020
00:51:56,960 --> 00:52:00,520
>> Yes, I would.

1021
00:52:30,319 --> 00:52:35,040
This

1022
00:52:32,880 --> 00:52:38,680
This is good.

1023
00:52:35,040 --> 00:52:38,680
This is a good step.

1024
00:52:53,511 --> 00:52:55,531
>> [snorts]

1025
00:53:01,371 --> 00:53:03,391
[snorts]

1026
00:53:25,606 --> 00:53:27,626
[snorts]

1027
00:53:34,776 --> 00:53:36,797
[snorts]

1028
00:53:39,362 --> 00:53:41,382
[snorts]

1029
00:53:47,222 --> 00:53:49,242
[snorts]

1030
00:54:06,872 --> 00:54:08,892
[snorts]

1031
00:54:12,112 --> 00:54:14,132
[snorts]

1032
00:54:29,599 --> 00:54:34,119
>> I saw you

1033
00:54:37,520 --> 00:54:42,760
with your sparkling eyes.

1034
00:54:46,000 --> 00:54:54,319
Graceful as an angel's wing.

1035
00:54:51,200 --> 00:54:57,640
I dream to dance

1036
00:54:54,319 --> 00:54:57,640
with you.

1037
00:55:01,839 --> 00:55:07,720
You whispered slightly

1038
00:55:04,720 --> 00:55:07,720
softly.

1039
00:55:07,920 --> 00:55:13,640
You told [singing] me you would be

1040
00:55:10,408 --> 00:55:13,640
[music] true.

1041
00:55:13,680 --> 00:55:20,800
We spun around. Thousand stars

1042
00:55:17,760 --> 00:55:24,040
I dreamed to dance

1043
00:55:20,800 --> 00:55:24,040
with you.

1044
00:55:27,280 --> 00:55:32,678
I know [singing] the night is dying

1045
00:55:30,058 --> 00:55:38,359
[music] dear.

1046
00:55:32,678 --> 00:55:38,359
[snorts] I know the day will.

1047
00:55:38,400 --> 00:55:42,319
The dancers [singing]

1048
00:55:39,760 --> 00:55:45,040
may [music] disappear.

1049
00:55:42,319 --> 00:55:48,040
Still the dance [music]

1050
00:55:45,040 --> 00:55:48,040
go

1051
00:56:01,119 --> 00:56:06,200
alone

1052
00:56:03,200 --> 00:56:06,200
tomorrow

1053
00:56:07,040 --> 00:56:13,559
dream of our dances

1054
00:56:10,559 --> 00:56:13,559
True.

1055
00:56:14,240 --> 00:56:18,880
But now until [singing]

1056
00:56:16,160 --> 00:56:24,280
forever,

1057
00:56:18,880 --> 00:56:24,280
I'll live to dance with you.

1058
00:56:27,359 --> 00:56:33,359
I'll dream my love.

1059
00:56:30,480 --> 00:56:35,680
I'll live [singing] my love.

1060
00:56:33,359 --> 00:56:38,079
And I'll die

1061
00:56:35,680 --> 00:56:41,079
to dance

1062
00:56:38,079 --> 00:56:41,079
with

1063
00:56:48,640 --> 00:56:53,000
There's a world

1064
00:56:53,280 --> 00:57:00,480
there's a world I know

1065
00:56:57,119 --> 00:57:04,079
a place [singing and music] we can go

1066
00:57:00,480 --> 00:57:07,079
where the pain will go

1067
00:57:04,079 --> 00:57:07,079
away.

1068
00:57:08,319 --> 00:57:17,160
There is a world where the sun [music]

1069
00:57:12,079 --> 00:57:17,160
shines [singing] each day.

1070
00:57:21,440 --> 00:57:29,200
There's [singing] a world

1071
00:57:25,760 --> 00:57:30,480
there's a world out there.

1072
00:57:29,200 --> 00:57:35,164
I'll show you [music and singing]

1073
00:57:30,480 --> 00:57:38,079
just where. And in time, I know you'll

1074
00:57:35,164 --> 00:57:41,200
[music] see

1075
00:57:38,079 --> 00:57:44,920
there's [singing] a world

1076
00:57:41,200 --> 00:57:44,920
where we

1077
00:57:46,000 --> 00:57:51,000
can be

1078
00:57:48,000 --> 00:57:51,000
free.

1079
00:57:58,400 --> 00:58:07,079
Come [singing] with me.

1080
00:58:03,040 --> 00:58:07,079
Goodman Diana

1081
00:58:08,720 --> 00:58:13,240
>> discovered unconscious at home

1082
00:58:14,559 --> 00:58:19,839
where we can be free.

1083
00:58:18,079 --> 00:58:22,720
>> Multiple razor wounds to wrists and

1084
00:58:19,839 --> 00:58:24,079
forearms self-inflicted.

1085
00:58:22,720 --> 00:58:25,760
Come [singing]

1086
00:58:24,079 --> 00:58:28,319
with

1087
00:58:25,760 --> 00:58:31,920
me.

1088
00:58:28,319 --> 00:58:34,319
>> Saline rinse, sutures, gauze, IV

1089
00:58:31,920 --> 00:58:38,400
antibiotics, isolated, sedated, and

1090
00:58:34,319 --> 00:58:42,200
restrain. Damn it.

1091
00:58:38,400 --> 00:58:42,200
Ect is indicated.

1092
00:58:42,559 --> 00:58:47,359
Wow. Um

1093
00:58:45,920 --> 00:58:49,920
I mean they still do that?

1094
00:58:47,359 --> 00:58:51,280
>> We do. Yes. It's the standard in cases

1095
00:58:49,920 --> 00:58:53,040
like this. She has a long history of

1096
00:58:51,280 --> 00:58:55,119
drug therapy resistance and she's

1097
00:58:53,040 --> 00:58:55,680
acutely suicidal. It's really our best

1098
00:58:55,119 --> 00:58:56,799
option.

1099
00:58:55,680 --> 00:58:59,040
>> That's kind of terrifying.

1100
00:58:56,799 --> 00:59:02,240
>> It's not. The electricity involved is

1101
00:58:59,040 --> 00:59:03,760
barely enough to light a 100 W bulb.

1102
00:59:02,240 --> 00:59:05,760
>> Well, if it's just a 100 watt bulb,

1103
00:59:03,760 --> 00:59:10,240
>> it's safer than crossing the street and

1104
00:59:05,760 --> 00:59:13,520
the short-term success rate is over 80%.

1105
00:59:10,240 --> 00:59:15,440
Thought she was better.

1106
00:59:13,520 --> 00:59:17,200
Sometimes patients regain just enough

1107
00:59:15,440 --> 00:59:22,000
strength to follow through on suicidal

1108
00:59:17,200 --> 00:59:25,280
impulses, but not enough to resist them.

1109
00:59:22,000 --> 00:59:26,880
You know, that seems very [ __ ]

1110
00:59:25,280 --> 00:59:29,119
Yes,

1111
00:59:26,880 --> 00:59:31,200
legally, we need her consent. And

1112
00:59:29,119 --> 00:59:32,400
hospital policy says we need yours, too.

1113
00:59:31,200 --> 00:59:34,559
>> I don't think she's going to go.

1114
00:59:32,400 --> 00:59:36,640
>> Mr. Goodman, I can administer the ECT

1115
00:59:34,559 --> 00:59:38,240
and you can take her home in 3 weeks or

1116
00:59:36,640 --> 00:59:40,559
I can keep her sedated [music] for

1117
00:59:38,240 --> 00:59:44,559
another 48 hours, discharge her, and

1118
00:59:40,559 --> 00:59:44,559
wait for her to try again.

1119
00:59:45,200 --> 00:59:50,119
Go home. Take the night.

1120
00:59:52,000 --> 00:59:56,040
We'll talk to her in the morning.

1121
01:00:07,040 --> 01:00:12,240
Standing in this room. Well, I wonder

1122
01:00:09,746 --> 01:00:15,440
[singing and music] what comes now. I

1123
01:00:12,240 --> 01:00:18,799
know I have to help her, but hell if I

1124
01:00:15,440 --> 01:00:22,319
know how. And all the times that I've

1125
01:00:18,799 --> 01:00:27,280
been told, the way her illness goes, the

1126
01:00:22,319 --> 01:00:29,599
truth of it is no one really knows.

1127
01:00:27,280 --> 01:00:32,400
And every day, this act we act [music]

1128
01:00:29,599 --> 01:00:35,040
gets more and more absurd.

1129
01:00:32,400 --> 01:00:38,160
And all my fears just sit inside me,

1130
01:00:35,040 --> 01:00:39,221
screaming to be heard. I know they

1131
01:00:38,160 --> 01:00:39,280
won't, though.

1132
01:00:39,221 --> 01:00:42,319
>> [music]

1133
01:00:39,280 --> 01:00:45,772
>> Not a single word.

1134
01:00:42,319 --> 01:00:48,319
I was here at her side. When she called,

1135
01:00:45,772 --> 01:00:52,480
[music] when she cried. [singing]

1136
01:00:48,319 --> 01:00:56,160
How could she leave me on my own?

1137
01:00:52,480 --> 01:00:59,799
Will it work this cure? There's no way

1138
01:00:56,160 --> 01:00:59,799
to be sure.

1139
01:01:00,319 --> 01:01:07,160
But I'm weary to the bone. And whenever

1140
01:01:03,520 --> 01:01:07,160
she goes flying,

1141
01:01:07,200 --> 01:01:12,027
I keep my feet right on the ground.

1142
01:01:10,007 --> 01:01:12,027
[music]

1143
01:01:12,720 --> 01:01:19,799
Oh, now I need a lift when there's no

1144
01:01:16,400 --> 01:01:19,799
one [music and singing] around.

1145
01:01:28,000 --> 01:01:30,400
Hey. [music]

1146
01:01:29,657 --> 01:01:33,400
[singing]

1147
01:01:30,400 --> 01:01:33,400
Oh,

1148
01:01:36,207 --> 01:01:38,227
[music]

1149
01:01:41,447 --> 01:01:45,200
[music]

1150
01:01:42,559 --> 01:01:47,760
and I've never had to face the world

1151
01:01:45,200 --> 01:01:49,760
without [singing] her at my side. Now

1152
01:01:47,760 --> 01:01:53,680
I'm strolling right [music] beside her

1153
01:01:49,760 --> 01:01:58,040
as the black hole opens wide. Mine's

1154
01:01:53,680 --> 01:01:58,040
just a slower suicide.

1155
01:02:03,280 --> 01:02:09,612
We've been here

1156
01:02:05,440 --> 01:02:11,632
for the show, every heart, every low.

1157
01:02:09,612 --> 01:02:11,632
[singing]

1158
01:02:11,839 --> 01:02:16,440
But it's the worst we've ever known.

1159
01:02:16,559 --> 01:02:24,240
She's been hurt and how. But I can't

1160
01:02:21,280 --> 01:02:27,353
give up now.

1161
01:02:24,240 --> 01:02:27,353
Cuz [singing]

1162
01:02:28,480 --> 01:02:32,440
I've never been alone.

1163
01:02:35,040 --> 01:02:39,240
I could never be alone.

1164
01:02:46,319 --> 01:02:48,960
>> Why didn't you take me with you?

1165
01:02:47,680 --> 01:02:52,319
>> Don't see a lot of you these days. This

1166
01:02:48,960 --> 01:02:57,240
Henry a good influence.

1167
01:02:52,319 --> 01:02:57,240
Like compared to what?

1168
01:02:57,520 --> 01:03:02,960
>> Okay, that's fair. [snorts]

1169
01:03:01,119 --> 01:03:04,559
>> The after effects are minimal. You'll

1170
01:03:02,960 --> 01:03:08,160
feel like you have a bit of a hangover.

1171
01:03:04,559 --> 01:03:09,520
>> Mom. Mom, please don't let them do this.

1172
01:03:08,160 --> 01:03:10,640
It causes [music] brain damage.

1173
01:03:09,520 --> 01:03:13,200
>> Oh, your mother's in for a new

1174
01:03:10,640 --> 01:03:16,000
treatment. ECT.

1175
01:03:13,200 --> 01:03:18,480
>> Okay. Elemento P. What is that?

1176
01:03:16,000 --> 01:03:20,319
>> Electrocomvulsive therapy. Shock

1177
01:03:18,480 --> 01:03:22,240
therapy. A minority of patients have

1178
01:03:20,319 --> 01:03:24,319
reported some memory loss, but it's

1179
01:03:22,240 --> 01:03:26,880
usually not much memory. How do you know

1180
01:03:24,319 --> 01:03:28,240
how much memory you've lost if you've

1181
01:03:26,880 --> 01:03:30,559
lost it?

1182
01:03:28,240 --> 01:03:32,160
>> You're kidding, right?

1183
01:03:30,559 --> 01:03:34,000
Dad, that's [ __ ]

1184
01:03:32,160 --> 01:03:35,280
>> Language patients have said it's like

1185
01:03:34,000 --> 01:03:37,440
becoming a new person.

1186
01:03:35,280 --> 01:03:39,200
>> It's [ __ ] She splits you.

1187
01:03:37,440 --> 01:03:42,559
>> That'll lead.

1188
01:03:39,200 --> 01:03:45,244
>> Didn't I see this movie with Mc Murphy

1189
01:03:42,559 --> 01:03:47,839
and [music] the nurse? That hospital

1190
01:03:45,244 --> 01:03:50,079
[singing] was heavy. But this cuckoo's

1191
01:03:47,839 --> 01:03:53,280
nest is worse.

1192
01:03:50,079 --> 01:03:55,520
Isn't this the one where in the end the

1193
01:03:53,280 --> 01:03:57,520
good guys?

1194
01:03:55,520 --> 01:04:00,240
Didn't I see this [music] movie? And

1195
01:03:57,520 --> 01:04:02,559
didn't I cry?

1196
01:04:00,240 --> 01:04:04,559
Didn't I cry?

1197
01:04:02,559 --> 01:04:06,240
>> The modern procedure is clean and

1198
01:04:04,559 --> 01:04:08,559
simple. Hundreds of thousands of

1199
01:04:06,240 --> 01:04:10,960
patients receive it every year.

1200
01:04:08,559 --> 01:04:13,680
What makes you [music] think I knew my

1201
01:04:10,960 --> 01:04:16,319
life for you?

1202
01:04:13,680 --> 01:04:18,704
I'm no social.

1203
01:04:16,319 --> 01:04:18,704
I'm so [music]

1204
01:04:19,304 --> 01:04:24,640
[singing] ain't no princess for kind of

1205
01:04:22,579 --> 01:04:28,960
[music] for you.

1206
01:04:24,640 --> 01:04:30,799
So stay out of my brain. I know princess

1207
01:04:28,960 --> 01:04:34,240
of pain. [music]

1208
01:04:30,799 --> 01:04:37,039
Then I see this movie with a doctor just

1209
01:04:34,240 --> 01:04:40,000
like you. When the patient [music] got

1210
01:04:37,039 --> 01:04:43,599
impatient and said, "Sorry, doc. I'm

1211
01:04:40,000 --> 01:04:46,799
through." I know where this is going.

1212
01:04:43,599 --> 01:04:49,760
And I know [music] what you're about.

1213
01:04:46,799 --> 01:04:51,839
Cuz I have seen this movie. And I walk

1214
01:04:49,760 --> 01:04:54,019
down.

1215
01:04:51,839 --> 01:04:55,039
I walk down.

1216
01:04:54,019 --> 01:04:58,520
[music]

1217
01:04:55,039 --> 01:04:58,520
I'm walking.

1218
01:05:12,640 --> 01:05:18,160
One light

1219
01:05:15,359 --> 01:05:23,520
shines in the drive.

1220
01:05:18,160 --> 01:05:26,400
One single sign that our house is alive.

1221
01:05:23,520 --> 01:05:33,520
Our house.

1222
01:05:26,400 --> 01:05:33,520
Our own. So why do I live there alone?

1223
01:05:33,920 --> 01:05:44,440
Tell me why I wait through the night.

1224
01:05:39,599 --> 01:05:44,440
Why do I [singing] leave on [music] the

1225
01:05:48,385 --> 01:05:53,025
[singing]

1226
01:05:50,319 --> 01:05:53,025
house [music]

1227
01:05:53,119 --> 01:05:56,119
ago?

1228
01:05:57,359 --> 01:06:01,760
Take this chance

1229
01:06:00,000 --> 01:06:04,880
because it may [singing] be our [music]

1230
01:06:01,760 --> 01:06:08,690
last. To be free,

1231
01:06:04,880 --> 01:06:12,620
to let go of the past, and to try

1232
01:06:08,690 --> 01:06:15,599
[singing] to be husband and wife, to let

1233
01:06:12,620 --> 01:06:18,960
[music] love never die, or to just live

1234
01:06:15,599 --> 01:06:22,445
our life take my hand

1235
01:06:18,960 --> 01:06:23,359
and let me take your heart. Keep it far

1236
01:06:22,445 --> 01:06:29,760
[singing]

1237
01:06:23,359 --> 01:06:33,580
from what keeps us apart. Let us start

1238
01:06:29,760 --> 01:06:35,600
with a light in the dark.

1239
01:06:33,580 --> 01:06:35,600
[singing]

1240
01:06:35,760 --> 01:06:43,200
Night falls. I stare at the [singing]

1241
01:06:38,960 --> 01:06:46,000
walls. I wake and wander the halls.

1242
01:06:43,200 --> 01:06:46,640
>> I get lost in the

1243
01:06:46,000 --> 01:06:49,760
bone.

1244
01:06:46,640 --> 01:06:52,880
>> It's like nothing.

1245
01:06:49,760 --> 01:06:55,880
>> I can't get through this

1246
01:06:52,880 --> 01:06:55,880
alone.

1247
01:06:59,359 --> 01:07:05,676
take this chance

1248
01:07:02,480 --> 01:07:07,280
and we'll make a new start. Somewhere

1249
01:07:05,676 --> 01:07:11,440
[singing] far

1250
01:07:07,280 --> 01:07:14,319
from what keeps us aart and I swear that

1251
01:07:11,440 --> 01:07:16,866
somewhere in [singing] the night

1252
01:07:14,319 --> 01:07:16,866
there's a [music]

1253
01:07:33,839 --> 01:07:38,200
A light in the dark.

1254
01:07:54,801 --> 01:07:58,131
>> [music]

1255
01:07:56,111 --> 01:07:58,131
[applause]

1256
01:18:10,509 --> 01:18:12,529
[music]

1257
01:18:21,644 --> 01:18:23,664
[music]

1258
01:18:28,849 --> 01:18:30,869
[music]

1259
01:18:34,744 --> 01:18:36,764
[music]

1260
01:18:37,920 --> 01:18:40,080
>> Come on. This is my favorite club. Let's

1261
01:18:39,760 --> 01:18:41,920
go.

1262
01:18:40,080 --> 01:18:43,840
>> Isn't three clubs a little much for a

1263
01:18:41,920 --> 01:18:44,800
Tuesday night,

1264
01:18:43,840 --> 01:18:46,000
Wednesday morning?

1265
01:18:44,800 --> 01:18:46,320
>> Come on. They're playing my favorite

1266
01:18:46,000 --> 01:18:48,080
song.

1267
01:18:46,320 --> 01:18:52,640
>> They're all your favorite song. What are

1268
01:18:48,080 --> 01:18:53,760
you on? Uh, aderall and Xanax and Valium

1269
01:18:52,640 --> 01:18:55,040
and Robbitasin.

1270
01:18:53,760 --> 01:18:56,000
>> Since when did you become a bad

1271
01:18:55,040 --> 01:18:58,960
influence on me?

1272
01:18:56,000 --> 01:19:00,239
>> Hey, I'm under stress. My mom's in a

1273
01:18:58,960 --> 01:19:01,760
hospital being electrocuted.

1274
01:19:00,239 --> 01:19:02,560
>> Good morning, Diana. It's good to see

1275
01:19:01,760 --> 01:19:04,719
you again.

1276
01:19:02,560 --> 01:19:07,120
>> Seriously, she gets it like every other

1277
01:19:04,719 --> 01:19:08,800
day for the next 3 weeks. Can't even

1278
01:19:07,120 --> 01:19:10,800
deal. I'd never let them [ __ ] with my

1279
01:19:08,800 --> 01:19:12,960
brain like that.

1280
01:19:10,800 --> 01:19:15,440
>> No, you're strictly a do-it-yourselfer.

1281
01:19:12,960 --> 01:19:17,760
>> I see you've met our anesthesiologists.

1282
01:19:15,440 --> 01:19:19,760
Now, just relax. Breathe normally. Count

1283
01:19:17,760 --> 01:19:22,159
backwards from 100 and before you reach

1284
01:19:19,760 --> 01:19:23,679
zero, you should be asleep. When you

1285
01:19:22,159 --> 01:19:26,000
wake up, you may feel some muscle

1286
01:19:23,679 --> 01:19:28,239
stiffness, disorientation. Don't worry,

1287
01:19:26,000 --> 01:19:29,840
it's completely normal.

1288
01:19:28,239 --> 01:19:32,400
Diana.

1289
01:19:29,840 --> 01:19:35,400
Diana.

1290
01:19:32,400 --> 01:19:35,400
Good.

1291
01:19:38,480 --> 01:19:41,480
Inantes

1292
01:19:41,840 --> 01:19:45,840
might leave me blind.

1293
01:19:44,175 --> 01:19:48,560
[music]

1294
01:19:45,840 --> 01:19:50,080
When the bolt of lightning crashes and

1295
01:19:48,560 --> 01:19:52,035
it [singing] burns right through my

1296
01:19:50,080 --> 01:19:53,360
mind,

1297
01:19:52,035 --> 01:19:55,840
[music]

1298
01:19:53,360 --> 01:20:00,600
it's like someone drained my brain out.

1299
01:19:55,840 --> 01:20:00,600
Set my frozen mind to fall.

1300
01:20:00,880 --> 01:20:08,199
Let the refuge and pain out while I

1301
01:20:03,920 --> 01:20:08,199
stood and watched it all.

1302
01:20:08,400 --> 01:20:13,840
I am riding on [music] the brightest

1303
01:20:10,719 --> 01:20:17,520
road. I [singing] am worlds away from

1304
01:20:13,840 --> 01:20:19,440
who I was. And they told me it would

1305
01:20:17,520 --> 01:20:22,159
change me [music] though they don't know

1306
01:20:19,440 --> 01:20:26,400
how it does. They [singing] don't know

1307
01:20:22,159 --> 01:20:28,800
how it lived a life of clouds and gray.

1308
01:20:26,400 --> 01:20:31,280
But this is crystal clear. Wish I were

1309
01:20:28,800 --> 01:20:35,520
here. Wish [music] I were here. My

1310
01:20:31,280 --> 01:20:36,560
imagin is remarkable. The super

1311
01:20:35,520 --> 01:20:38,159
wish I

1312
01:20:36,560 --> 01:20:40,880
>> wish I [singing and music] were here.

1313
01:20:38,159 --> 01:20:43,781
>> Wish I wish I were here.

1314
01:20:40,880 --> 01:20:45,679
>> It's euporia. It's anger. It's the

1315
01:20:43,781 --> 01:20:47,040
[singing] winter wind. It's fire.

1316
01:20:45,679 --> 01:20:48,400
>> It's the winter [music]

1317
01:20:47,040 --> 01:20:50,986
wind. It's fire.

1318
01:20:48,400 --> 01:20:55,400
>> And it kills my deepest hunger cuz

1319
01:20:50,986 --> 01:20:55,400
[singing] it fs me with desire.

1320
01:20:57,840 --> 01:21:01,520
In the sun,

1321
01:21:00,156 --> 01:21:04,086
[music]

1322
01:21:01,520 --> 01:21:06,051
mag

1323
01:21:04,086 --> 01:21:08,071
[singing]

1324
01:21:06,051 --> 01:21:08,071
[music]

1325
01:21:16,531 --> 01:21:20,480
[music]

1326
01:21:17,440 --> 01:21:23,440
were here. Is this

1327
01:21:20,480 --> 01:21:27,440
true? Do I just disappear? Wish [music]

1328
01:21:23,440 --> 01:21:27,440
I were here.

1329
01:21:28,719 --> 01:21:31,760
here.

1330
01:21:29,600 --> 01:21:33,199
>> Natalie, what are you doing in my

1331
01:21:31,760 --> 01:21:35,840
electricity?

1332
01:21:33,199 --> 01:21:38,640
>> It's always all about you, isn't it?

1333
01:21:35,840 --> 01:21:38,960
>> I'm robbit tripping. I can't feel my

1334
01:21:38,640 --> 01:21:41,280
leg.

1335
01:21:38,960 --> 01:21:43,600
>> I don't want you doing drugs. Well,

1336
01:21:41,280 --> 01:21:45,840
that's persuasive coming from Fizer's

1337
01:21:43,600 --> 01:21:47,600
woman of the year.

1338
01:21:45,840 --> 01:21:50,239
You're the one who's hallucinating. It's

1339
01:21:47,600 --> 01:21:52,719
my treatment.

1340
01:21:50,239 --> 01:21:55,360
It's a miracle.

1341
01:21:52,719 --> 01:21:57,796
Everything is different now. I know what

1342
01:21:55,360 --> 01:22:01,120
you mean.

1343
01:21:57,796 --> 01:22:05,120
[music] Hug [singing] me in and turn me

1344
01:22:01,120 --> 01:22:08,960
on and flip the [music] switch. I'm good

1345
01:22:05,120 --> 01:22:13,040
as gone. It takes my [singing] skin and

1346
01:22:08,960 --> 01:22:17,760
drips my [music] brain. I feel the burn,

1347
01:22:13,040 --> 01:22:20,777
but I don't feel the pain.

1348
01:22:17,760 --> 01:22:20,777
He's my greatest [music]

1349
01:22:22,560 --> 01:22:26,672
shall

1350
01:22:24,652 --> 01:22:26,672
[music]

1351
01:22:27,040 --> 01:22:30,040
ever

1352
01:22:30,080 --> 01:22:34,531
shall [music]

1353
01:22:32,511 --> 01:22:34,531
[singing]

1354
01:22:38,406 --> 01:22:40,427
[music]

1355
01:22:41,920 --> 01:22:45,360
This is the fifth night in a row I've

1356
01:22:43,520 --> 01:22:48,239
had to come and find you at some random

1357
01:22:45,360 --> 01:22:50,800
club. Diana.

1358
01:22:48,239 --> 01:22:54,320
>> Dan,

1359
01:22:50,800 --> 01:22:55,199
3 weeks are up. It's time to go home.

1360
01:22:54,320 --> 01:23:00,280
>> Home?

1361
01:22:55,199 --> 01:23:00,280
>> Yeah. Don't Don't talk. Just relax.

1362
01:23:01,679 --> 01:23:07,227
>> Okay, you can go.

1363
01:23:04,400 --> 01:23:08,239
I'm like 70% less messed up now.

1364
01:23:07,227 --> 01:23:09,600
[snorts]

1365
01:23:08,239 --> 01:23:11,760
Seriously, my dad's [music] going to be

1366
01:23:09,600 --> 01:23:13,120
home any minute. He's bringing my mom

1367
01:23:11,760 --> 01:23:14,000
back from the hospital. You don't want

1368
01:23:13,120 --> 01:23:17,960
to be here.

1369
01:23:14,000 --> 01:23:17,960
>> Will you call me? Just go

1370
01:23:22,947 --> 01:23:26,880
[singing]

1371
01:23:23,440 --> 01:23:31,600
>> hide my stupid hunger.

1372
01:23:26,880 --> 01:23:35,080
Fake some confidence and cheer. Wish I

1373
01:23:31,600 --> 01:23:35,080
were here.

1374
01:23:37,360 --> 01:23:42,440
Wish I were here.

1375
01:23:47,182 --> 01:23:48,960
[music]

1376
01:23:48,159 --> 01:23:51,760
>> We're here.

1377
01:23:48,960 --> 01:23:53,360
>> Hey.

1378
01:23:51,760 --> 01:23:54,719
Wow.

1379
01:23:53,360 --> 01:23:58,480
You look great.

1380
01:23:54,719 --> 01:24:01,600
>> Oh, thank you.

1381
01:23:58,480 --> 01:24:02,400
And who are you?

1382
01:24:01,600 --> 01:24:06,600
Who am I?

1383
01:24:02,400 --> 01:24:06,600
>> Diana, this is Natalie.

1384
01:24:07,040 --> 01:24:14,120
>> Your daughter.

1385
01:24:09,600 --> 01:24:14,120
Oh, of course.

1386
01:24:14,639 --> 01:24:21,960
>> And this is our house,

1387
01:24:18,239 --> 01:24:21,960
>> Diana. Don't you?

1388
01:24:22,639 --> 01:24:29,840
>> Um, you don't remember any of this?

1389
01:24:27,120 --> 01:24:32,239
>> I should, right? This house and all

1390
01:24:29,840 --> 01:24:37,040
these rooms

1391
01:24:32,239 --> 01:24:40,719
last Christmas or last [singing] year

1392
01:24:37,040 --> 01:24:44,719
out back the dogwood blooms.

1393
01:24:40,719 --> 01:24:48,639
>> Do I really live here?

1394
01:24:44,719 --> 01:24:50,239
>> The paint, the walls, all this glass and

1395
01:24:48,639 --> 01:24:52,880
wood.

1396
01:24:50,239 --> 01:24:56,239
You don't recall [singing]

1397
01:24:52,880 --> 01:25:00,000
>> how I wish I could.

1398
01:24:56,239 --> 01:25:03,880
Our house on Walton Way.

1399
01:25:00,000 --> 01:25:03,880
The house with the red door. [singing]

1400
01:25:04,560 --> 01:25:09,714
Our trip to Sanrope.

1401
01:25:08,159 --> 01:25:11,734
The whole week of downpour.

1402
01:25:09,714 --> 01:25:11,734
[singing and music]

1403
01:25:12,159 --> 01:25:21,679
>> My first few steps and my first lost to

1404
01:25:16,480 --> 01:25:22,480
you. What? Nothing yet to tell the

1405
01:25:21,679 --> 01:25:28,400
truth.

1406
01:25:22,480 --> 01:25:30,320
>> Jesus. Sing [music] a song of forett,

1407
01:25:28,400 --> 01:25:32,719
a song of the way [singing and music]

1408
01:25:30,320 --> 01:25:37,679
things were not.

1409
01:25:32,719 --> 01:25:39,040
Sing of what's lost to you.

1410
01:25:37,679 --> 01:25:43,080
Of times that [music and singing] you

1411
01:25:39,040 --> 01:25:43,080
never knew.

1412
01:25:44,560 --> 01:25:49,360
Sing of not remembering

1413
01:25:46,394 --> 01:25:53,280
[music and singing] when

1414
01:25:49,360 --> 01:25:55,280
of memories that go unreme

1415
01:25:53,280 --> 01:25:59,960
then

1416
01:25:55,280 --> 01:25:59,960
sing a song of [singing] forett

1417
01:26:00,080 --> 01:26:03,080
again.

1418
01:26:03,600 --> 01:26:11,520
That day our child was [music] born.

1419
01:26:07,120 --> 01:26:14,960
Our baby girl's first cry.

1420
01:26:11,520 --> 01:26:18,960
That gray and drizzly mourn.

1421
01:26:14,960 --> 01:26:23,760
I've never felt so high.

1422
01:26:18,960 --> 01:26:25,440
>> The day we met and we shared two beers.

1423
01:26:23,760 --> 01:26:26,960
>> Then

1424
01:26:25,440 --> 01:26:30,719
>> I forget.

1425
01:26:26,960 --> 01:26:32,560
>> That's 19 years.

1426
01:26:30,719 --> 01:26:35,199
>> Well, that that Dr. Mitchell did say

1427
01:26:32,560 --> 01:26:37,920
there may be some memory loss.

1428
01:26:35,199 --> 01:26:40,400
>> It's Dr. Madden.

1429
01:26:37,920 --> 01:26:42,480
>> Well, see, there you go.

1430
01:26:40,400 --> 01:26:45,280
>> What a lovely cure. [singing and music]

1431
01:26:42,480 --> 01:26:48,400
It's a medical miracle

1432
01:26:45,280 --> 01:26:50,320
with a mind so that she [music] doesn't

1433
01:26:48,400 --> 01:26:52,560
know anything.

1434
01:26:50,320 --> 01:26:55,824
>> It's

1435
01:26:52,560 --> 01:26:57,844
cuz memories [music] don't die.

1436
01:26:55,824 --> 01:26:57,844
[singing]

1437
01:26:58,445 --> 01:27:03,880
[music]

1438
01:26:58,639 --> 01:27:03,880
>> They die. I try. Sing

1439
01:27:04,995 --> 01:27:09,639
[singing and music] a song forett.

1440
01:27:10,890 --> 01:27:12,910
[music and singing]

1441
01:27:13,760 --> 01:27:22,400
>> Sing of what's lost to you. What's

1442
01:27:18,880 --> 01:27:25,600
in terms of

1443
01:27:22,400 --> 01:27:28,600
you knew

1444
01:27:25,600 --> 01:27:28,600
singing

1445
01:27:30,560 --> 01:27:35,480
of memories that go unread

1446
01:27:36,719 --> 01:27:44,239
>> sing a [music] song of forett [singing]

1447
01:27:39,360 --> 01:27:47,199
>> sing a song of foretting a song of

1448
01:27:44,239 --> 01:27:47,199
foretting

1449
01:27:49,280 --> 01:27:52,280
again.

1450
01:28:01,040 --> 01:28:04,560
Hey.

1451
01:28:02,960 --> 01:28:08,639
Hey.

1452
01:28:04,560 --> 01:28:12,320
I've missed you these days.

1453
01:28:08,639 --> 01:28:16,639
I thought you might call.

1454
01:28:12,320 --> 01:28:20,000
It's been weeks. I've been

1455
01:28:16,639 --> 01:28:23,840
>> Hey. Hey.

1456
01:28:20,000 --> 01:28:27,440
Have you been on the scene?

1457
01:28:23,840 --> 01:28:29,360
Cuz you look like a mess.

1458
01:28:27,440 --> 01:28:32,840
>> Thanks. I guess.

1459
01:28:29,360 --> 01:28:32,840
>> Are you clean?

1460
01:28:33,280 --> 01:28:35,360
>> I [music and singing] don't do what you

1461
01:28:34,719 --> 01:28:37,199
do.

1462
01:28:35,360 --> 01:28:39,199
>> Okay. How did it start?

1463
01:28:37,199 --> 01:28:42,646
>> But you took it too far.

1464
01:28:39,199 --> 01:28:42,646
>> Oh, I took it. [singing]

1465
01:28:43,679 --> 01:28:47,920
do this.

1466
01:28:45,040 --> 01:28:49,679
>> Don't say the blue over. [singing]

1467
01:28:47,920 --> 01:28:53,360
>> Don't you want us to be?

1468
01:28:49,679 --> 01:28:55,520
>> No. I want who [music] I knew.

1469
01:28:53,360 --> 01:28:58,840
She's somewhere

1470
01:28:55,520 --> 01:28:58,840
in you.

1471
01:29:00,080 --> 01:29:03,520
Hey,

1472
01:29:01,679 --> 01:29:07,120
say

1473
01:29:03,520 --> 01:29:10,960
will you come to this dance?

1474
01:29:07,120 --> 01:29:13,280
It's spring for dance.

1475
01:29:10,960 --> 01:29:16,000
It's May 1st.

1476
01:29:13,280 --> 01:29:18,639
And it's cheese, but it's fun [singing]

1477
01:29:16,000 --> 01:29:21,840
and it's free.

1478
01:29:18,639 --> 01:29:26,280
>> I don't do

1479
01:29:21,840 --> 01:29:26,280
this [music] dance with me.

1480
01:29:27,360 --> 01:29:30,360
Goodbye.

1481
01:29:33,681 --> 01:29:36,880
[singing]

1482
01:29:34,320 --> 01:29:39,360
>> Natalie. Natalie, wait up.

1483
01:29:36,880 --> 01:29:41,600
>> This much loss is rare, but it has been

1484
01:29:39,360 --> 01:29:43,120
reported. It may be partly psychoggenic.

1485
01:29:41,600 --> 01:29:44,800
At times like this, [music] the mind

1486
01:29:43,120 --> 01:29:46,239
tends to repress troubling memories, but

1487
01:29:44,800 --> 01:29:48,560
they're still there somewhere. They tend

1488
01:29:46,239 --> 01:29:51,360
to return in fits and starts. It's been

1489
01:29:48,560 --> 01:29:54,560
two weeks. A little loss of memory is

1490
01:29:51,360 --> 01:29:57,760
normal and helpful in forgetting all her

1491
01:29:54,560 --> 01:30:00,639
fears. I couldn't give up flying. [ __ ]

1492
01:29:57,760 --> 01:30:01,760
what's normal? We haven't had a normal

1493
01:30:00,639 --> 01:30:04,159
day in years.

1494
01:30:01,760 --> 01:30:05,360
>> Diana, are things becoming clearer with

1495
01:30:04,159 --> 01:30:05,760
the treatment?

1496
01:30:05,360 --> 01:30:08,320
>> Yes.

1497
01:30:05,760 --> 01:30:10,320
>> Is life less cloudy than it was before?

1498
01:30:08,320 --> 01:30:12,560
>> Well, yes. Do you still feel your head

1499
01:30:10,320 --> 01:30:15,120
is filled with concrete?

1500
01:30:12,560 --> 01:30:20,639
>> No.

1501
01:30:15,120 --> 01:30:23,360
And you're not a scary rockar anymore.

1502
01:30:20,639 --> 01:30:25,679
>> Okay, great. [laughter]

1503
01:30:23,360 --> 01:30:29,280
What about her memory?

1504
01:30:25,679 --> 01:30:31,520
The memories are there somewhere. Find

1505
01:30:29,280 --> 01:30:34,597
some pictures you can [music] share.

1506
01:30:31,520 --> 01:30:37,520
Keep the life that's there behind

1507
01:30:34,597 --> 01:30:39,360
[singing] her.

1508
01:30:37,520 --> 01:30:42,560
Do I [music] bring up the subject of

1509
01:30:39,360 --> 01:30:46,239
yes, but keep it light at first, that's

1510
01:30:42,560 --> 01:30:48,080
best. Careful that she's not distressed.

1511
01:30:46,239 --> 01:30:52,239
When the time's [music] right, tell the

1512
01:30:48,080 --> 01:30:56,440
rest. Remind [singing] her.

1513
01:30:52,239 --> 01:30:56,440
You'll find her.

1514
01:31:00,320 --> 01:31:02,880
So, let's start with something small,

1515
01:31:02,108 --> 01:31:04,719
[singing]

1516
01:31:02,880 --> 01:31:08,239
something

1517
01:31:04,719 --> 01:31:10,080
pretty. I bet you'll know these shiny

1518
01:31:08,239 --> 01:31:13,120
things.

1519
01:31:10,080 --> 01:31:15,520
>> Um, [music] they must be tacky trinkets

1520
01:31:13,120 --> 01:31:18,639
from I guess Atlantic City.

1521
01:31:15,520 --> 01:31:19,600
>> No, actually die. They're our wedding

1522
01:31:18,639 --> 01:31:21,199
rings.

1523
01:31:19,600 --> 01:31:24,320
>> It's going well.

1524
01:31:21,199 --> 01:31:28,239
>> Here's a flower from our wedding. It was

1525
01:31:24,320 --> 01:31:29,920
such a sight to see with the ceremony.

1526
01:31:28,239 --> 01:31:33,840
Everything we'd hoped.

1527
01:31:29,920 --> 01:31:36,239
>> Uh, Dad. Well, that's how I remember it,

1528
01:31:33,840 --> 01:31:39,440
so that's how [music] it'll be.

1529
01:31:36,239 --> 01:31:42,639
>> It was raining. It was Portland. You

1530
01:31:39,440 --> 01:31:45,840
aloped. I mean, Portland.

1531
01:31:42,639 --> 01:31:49,040
>> It's an open book to write here. It's a

1532
01:31:45,840 --> 01:31:53,198
life we can restore. We can get back

1533
01:31:49,040 --> 01:31:55,760
what we had. And maybe more.

1534
01:31:53,198 --> 01:31:58,760
[music] Maybe get us back to better than

1535
01:31:55,760 --> 01:31:58,760
before.

1536
01:31:58,880 --> 01:32:02,400
Uh,

1537
01:32:00,480 --> 01:32:03,679
you're missing [music] a few pictures

1538
01:32:02,400 --> 01:32:05,679
here, Dad. Didn't the doctor say?

1539
01:32:03,679 --> 01:32:08,000
>> The doctor said at the right time.

1540
01:32:05,679 --> 01:32:10,560
>> Oh, well then.

1541
01:32:08,000 --> 01:32:14,239
>> Here's the year we drove the west. We

1542
01:32:10,560 --> 01:32:15,760
hit the highway in the Honda. And I took

1543
01:32:14,239 --> 01:32:18,239
pictures [music] everywhere [singing] we

1544
01:32:15,760 --> 01:32:21,040
went.

1545
01:32:18,239 --> 01:32:23,840
We saw the painted desert, the Grand

1546
01:32:21,040 --> 01:32:26,000
Canyon, [music] and Ant Rhonda. And Nat

1547
01:32:23,840 --> 01:32:28,239
learned what her [singing] middle finger

1548
01:32:26,000 --> 01:32:30,480
meant. Here's

1549
01:32:28,239 --> 01:32:33,600
the first [music] house that we owned on

1550
01:32:30,480 --> 01:32:36,000
Walton Way. We love that place. Then we

1551
01:32:33,600 --> 01:32:38,320
built this one on land that we both

1552
01:32:36,000 --> 01:32:41,040
chose.

1553
01:32:38,320 --> 01:32:44,000
And here's a [singing]

1554
01:32:41,040 --> 01:32:45,599
smile on every face. And the

1555
01:32:44,000 --> 01:32:48,760
photoshopping hardly even

1556
01:32:45,599 --> 01:32:48,760
[music and singing] shows.

1557
01:32:49,040 --> 01:32:54,480
We're standing by a lake with all these

1558
01:32:51,920 --> 01:32:57,199
ducks.

1559
01:32:54,480 --> 01:32:58,400
Then who's this little chubby girl?

1560
01:32:57,199 --> 01:32:59,679
>> That's Natalie.

1561
01:32:58,400 --> 01:33:03,284
>> That sucks.

1562
01:32:59,679 --> 01:33:05,920
>> Hey, nap. Nap. Gonna get us back to

1563
01:33:03,284 --> 01:33:09,360
[music] normal. Going to get us back to

1564
01:33:05,920 --> 01:33:12,080
good. Going to get back what we had and

1565
01:33:09,360 --> 01:33:14,800
maybe more.

1566
01:33:12,080 --> 01:33:17,440
We'll remember all the good times and

1567
01:33:14,800 --> 01:33:19,440
forget the things we should. Going to

1568
01:33:17,440 --> 01:33:22,080
get us back [music] to better than

1569
01:33:19,440 --> 01:33:24,480
before. [singing]

1570
01:33:22,080 --> 01:33:25,760
We can get things back to better than

1571
01:33:24,480 --> 01:33:28,400
before.

1572
01:33:25,760 --> 01:33:31,120
>> All right,

1573
01:33:28,400 --> 01:33:34,000
fine.

1574
01:33:31,120 --> 01:33:36,400
>> Here's the headline in the paper when

1575
01:33:34,000 --> 01:33:41,440
you freaked out at the market. [music]

1576
01:33:36,400 --> 01:33:46,280
Here's the house on [singing] the fire.

1577
01:33:41,440 --> 01:33:46,280
>> Here's the damage [music] to the Honda.

1578
01:33:46,719 --> 01:33:52,800
Did we crush somebody's catath?

1579
01:33:50,960 --> 01:33:54,374
Yes.

1580
01:33:52,800 --> 01:33:56,394
hours.

1581
01:33:54,374 --> 01:33:56,394
[laughter]

1582
01:33:56,994 --> 01:33:59,014
[singing and music]

1583
01:34:01,440 --> 01:34:05,280
>> I remember this. I made it to the

1584
01:34:04,159 --> 01:34:06,639
school.

1585
01:34:05,280 --> 01:34:11,280
>> Wait, you remember?

1586
01:34:06,639 --> 01:34:11,760
>> It was the year of lithium. I

1587
01:34:11,280 --> 01:34:14,719
>> Yes.

1588
01:34:11,760 --> 01:34:17,679
>> And your swim meet just last year. I'm

1589
01:34:14,719 --> 01:34:20,575
in the pool. So you are.

1590
01:34:17,679 --> 01:34:23,120
>> You're getting it. You've got it. D.

1591
01:34:20,575 --> 01:34:25,600
[music] Hooray!

1592
01:34:23,120 --> 01:34:30,560
>> Your life has kind of sucked. I think

1593
01:34:25,600 --> 01:34:33,040
you got it. Yay! Hooray! Hooray!

1594
01:34:30,560 --> 01:34:36,000
Going to get back what I lost there.

1595
01:34:33,040 --> 01:34:40,639
Going to find out who I was. Going to

1596
01:34:36,000 --> 01:34:43,520
open up the gates and let it pour.

1597
01:34:40,639 --> 01:34:46,400
>> And if memory makes things better, well,

1598
01:34:43,520 --> 01:34:50,639
memory always does. It's going to get us

1599
01:34:46,400 --> 01:34:53,120
back to better than before. [singing]

1600
01:34:50,639 --> 01:34:54,880
Make everything much [music] better than

1601
01:34:53,120 --> 01:34:57,880
before.

1602
01:34:54,880 --> 01:34:57,880
>> Better

1603
01:34:57,920 --> 01:35:00,585
than before. [singing]

1604
01:35:00,880 --> 01:35:05,960
Better than [music] before.

1605
01:35:12,239 --> 01:35:17,920
>> They've managed to get rid of [singing]

1606
01:35:13,760 --> 01:35:20,180
me. Return me to the grave. Ect electric

1607
01:35:17,920 --> 01:35:21,280
chair. shock we can't save.

1608
01:35:20,180 --> 01:35:24,960
[singing and music] They've cleared you

1609
01:35:21,280 --> 01:35:27,280
of my memory and many more as well. You

1610
01:35:24,960 --> 01:35:29,679
may have wanted some of them, but who

1611
01:35:27,280 --> 01:35:32,239
can ever tell? [music] Your brain waves

1612
01:35:29,679 --> 01:35:34,591
are more regular. The chemistry more

1613
01:35:32,239 --> 01:35:36,239
pure. The headaches and the nausea

1614
01:35:34,591 --> 01:35:40,639
[singing] will [music] pass and you'll

1615
01:35:36,239 --> 01:35:44,440
endure. Your son is gone forever. Go of

1616
01:35:40,639 --> 01:35:44,440
that. The [music] doctor's

1617
01:35:45,360 --> 01:35:50,600
the memories

1618
01:35:47,600 --> 01:35:50,600
will

1619
01:35:51,199 --> 01:35:54,159
the aftershocks [music]

1620
01:35:52,931 --> 01:35:57,159
[singing]

1621
01:35:54,159 --> 01:35:57,159
remain.

1622
01:35:57,600 --> 01:36:06,741
You wonder which is worse,

1623
01:36:01,120 --> 01:36:06,741
the symptom or the cure? [music]

1624
01:36:08,960 --> 01:36:12,800
die. Honey,

1625
01:36:11,360 --> 01:36:15,600
you've been at this for days.

1626
01:36:12,800 --> 01:36:17,360
>> Something is missing, Dan. It's like

1627
01:36:15,600 --> 01:36:18,880
it's tugging at me. I can almost see it.

1628
01:36:17,360 --> 01:36:21,040
>> Come to bed.

1629
01:36:18,880 --> 01:36:24,600
>> If If the memories are meant to come

1630
01:36:21,040 --> 01:36:24,600
back, they will.

1631
01:36:27,280 --> 01:36:32,800
>> Oh, hi, Miss Goodman.

1632
01:36:30,800 --> 01:36:35,280
I just needed to talk to Natalie about

1633
01:36:32,800 --> 01:36:38,000
some homework.

1634
01:36:35,280 --> 01:36:39,760
I know it's late. Um, she's not been

1635
01:36:38,000 --> 01:36:40,960
answering a phone and I thought, is

1636
01:36:39,760 --> 01:36:42,560
everything okay,

1637
01:36:40,960 --> 01:36:45,199
>> Henry?

1638
01:36:42,560 --> 01:36:48,239
>> Yes.

1639
01:36:45,199 --> 01:36:50,159
>> God, you remind me of someone.

1640
01:36:48,239 --> 01:36:52,400
How old are you?

1641
01:36:50,159 --> 01:36:54,159
>> 17.

1642
01:36:52,400 --> 01:36:57,360
Why?

1643
01:36:54,159 --> 01:37:01,159
>> I don't know.

1644
01:36:57,360 --> 01:37:01,159
Natalie's in her room.

1645
01:37:03,280 --> 01:37:08,080
>> They've [singing] managed to get rid of

1646
01:37:05,040 --> 01:37:10,480
me. I'm gone without a trace, but sear

1647
01:37:08,080 --> 01:37:13,679
the soul and leave a scar no treatment

1648
01:37:10,480 --> 01:37:14,960
can erase. They cut away the cancer, but

1649
01:37:13,679 --> 01:37:18,080
forgot [music] to fill the [singing]

1650
01:37:14,960 --> 01:37:20,800
hole. They move me from your memory. I'm

1651
01:37:18,080 --> 01:37:23,119
still there in your soul. Your life goes

1652
01:37:20,800 --> 01:37:25,440
back to normal now. Or so they all

1653
01:37:23,119 --> 01:37:27,520
believe. Your heart [singing] is in your

1654
01:37:25,440 --> 01:37:29,840
chest again, not hanging from your

1655
01:37:27,520 --> 01:37:32,560
sleeve. They've driven out [music] the

1656
01:37:29,840 --> 01:37:36,159
demons and they've earned [singing] you

1657
01:37:32,560 --> 01:37:38,400
this reprieve.

1658
01:37:36,159 --> 01:37:42,040
The memories

1659
01:37:38,400 --> 01:37:42,040
are gone.

1660
01:37:42,880 --> 01:37:49,719
The aftershocks

1661
01:37:45,600 --> 01:37:49,719
live [singing] on.

1662
01:37:50,000 --> 01:37:58,080
But with nothing to remember,

1663
01:37:54,800 --> 01:38:01,080
is there nothing left

1664
01:37:58,080 --> 01:38:01,080
to

1665
01:38:03,278 --> 01:38:08,920
[music]

1666
01:38:04,080 --> 01:38:08,920
Nothing to remember.

1667
01:38:12,080 --> 01:38:15,199
Hey.

1668
01:38:13,600 --> 01:38:16,800
Hey.

1669
01:38:15,199 --> 01:38:18,960
So, tomorrow's [singing and music] the

1670
01:38:16,800 --> 01:38:22,560
dance.

1671
01:38:18,960 --> 01:38:24,719
It's annoying, I know,

1672
01:38:22,560 --> 01:38:26,480
but let's go. [singing]

1673
01:38:24,719 --> 01:38:28,400
>> Not a chance.

1674
01:38:26,480 --> 01:38:29,440
>> Let me [music] know you again.

1675
01:38:28,400 --> 01:38:32,320
>> Not right now.

1676
01:38:29,440 --> 01:38:34,080
>> Okay. When? Say wait and I'll wait.

1677
01:38:32,320 --> 01:38:36,400
>> It's already too late.

1678
01:38:34,080 --> 01:38:40,013
>> There's no way it's too late. There's no

1679
01:38:36,400 --> 01:38:40,013
way I stay quiet. [music]

1680
01:38:40,239 --> 01:38:44,960
>> Just shut up [singing] and

1681
01:38:42,960 --> 01:38:48,560
>> Why do I get denied?

1682
01:38:44,960 --> 01:38:52,360
>> You remind me of

1683
01:38:48,560 --> 01:38:52,360
how [ __ ] up.

1684
01:38:55,440 --> 01:38:58,880
>> Okay.

1685
01:38:57,280 --> 01:39:02,880
Hey,

1686
01:38:58,880 --> 01:39:06,480
let's start over. Clean sleep.

1687
01:39:02,880 --> 01:39:08,560
I'll come by here at 8.

1688
01:39:06,480 --> 01:39:10,239
If you show,

1689
01:39:08,560 --> 01:39:14,673
then we'll go. [singing]

1690
01:39:10,239 --> 01:39:16,639
And if you don't, well, we'll see.

1691
01:39:14,673 --> 01:39:21,719
[music]

1692
01:39:16,639 --> 01:39:21,719
>> So, don't [singing] give up on me.

1693
01:39:24,639 --> 01:39:27,639
>> Goodbye.

1694
01:39:27,773 --> 01:39:29,793
>> [singing]

1695
01:39:37,280 --> 01:39:42,183
>> It's been four weeks since the treatment

1696
01:39:39,600 --> 01:39:44,480
and my mind is still a mess. And what's

1697
01:39:42,183 --> 01:39:46,960
[music] left to be remembered? Well,

1698
01:39:44,480 --> 01:39:49,360
it's anybody's [singing] guess cuz my

1699
01:39:46,960 --> 01:39:52,664
past is like the weather. It will come

1700
01:39:49,360 --> 01:39:53,199
and it will go. I don't know even know

1701
01:39:52,664 --> 01:39:56,080
[music]

1702
01:39:53,199 --> 01:39:58,560
what it is that I don't know. I'm

1703
01:39:56,080 --> 01:40:01,679
Christopher Columbus sailing out [music]

1704
01:39:58,560 --> 01:40:03,679
into my mind with no map of where I'm

1705
01:40:01,679 --> 01:40:06,719
going [singing] or of what I left

1706
01:40:03,679 --> 01:40:11,679
behind. I don't know [music]

1707
01:40:06,719 --> 01:40:14,000
the things I don't know. I'm sure some

1708
01:40:11,679 --> 01:40:15,840
wish it would show. I [music] don't

1709
01:40:14,000 --> 01:40:19,280
know.

1710
01:40:15,840 --> 01:40:22,400
You say take it slow and I do [music]

1711
01:40:19,280 --> 01:40:25,960
all [singing] how I do.

1712
01:40:22,400 --> 01:40:25,960
I don't know.

1713
01:40:27,119 --> 01:40:31,600
Are you talking with your husband?

1714
01:40:29,520 --> 01:40:34,000
>> Well, he hasn't much to say.

1715
01:40:31,600 --> 01:40:36,159
>> Is it helping you remember?

1716
01:40:34,000 --> 01:40:38,880
>> I remember that's his way. [music]

1717
01:40:36,159 --> 01:40:40,719
>> Does the puzzle come together piece by

1718
01:40:38,880 --> 01:40:43,520
piece and row by row?

1719
01:40:40,719 --> 01:40:46,480
>> I don't know. I don't know where the

1720
01:40:43,520 --> 01:40:48,560
[ __ ] pieces go. Cuz I don't know how

1721
01:40:46,480 --> 01:40:51,119
this started [music] so I won't know

1722
01:40:48,560 --> 01:40:53,360
when it's done. Have you talked to your

1723
01:40:51,119 --> 01:40:55,920
depression, your delusions, [music] and

1724
01:40:53,360 --> 01:40:59,239
your son?

1725
01:40:55,920 --> 01:40:59,239
>> My what?

1726
01:40:59,920 --> 01:41:05,840
>> Your husband didn't

1727
01:41:03,119 --> 01:41:08,080
I think you two should talk more.

1728
01:41:05,840 --> 01:41:09,520
>> We should talk more.

1729
01:41:08,080 --> 01:41:11,440
That's it. I don't even remember

1730
01:41:09,520 --> 01:41:13,199
marrying this man. It's not like I'm

1731
01:41:11,440 --> 01:41:14,719
some sexually frustrated soccer mom.

1732
01:41:13,199 --> 01:41:17,840
>> Interestingly, the underlying challenges

1733
01:41:14,719 --> 01:41:19,679
are similar, but

1734
01:41:17,840 --> 01:41:23,159
I'll see you next week. a doctor

1735
01:41:19,679 --> 01:41:23,159
>> next week.

1736
01:42:43,440 --> 01:42:47,520
What are you doing?

1737
01:42:46,400 --> 01:42:50,000
>> What is this?

1738
01:42:47,520 --> 01:42:52,791
>> Hey, where'd you get that?

1739
01:42:50,000 --> 01:42:55,040
>> Um, it's uh

1740
01:42:52,791 --> 01:42:58,760
[laughter] It's nothing. It's a It's

1741
01:42:55,040 --> 01:42:58,760
just an old music box.

1742
01:43:01,440 --> 01:43:05,880
>> We used to play it for the baby.

1743
01:43:06,320 --> 01:43:10,960
>> Sometimes it helped him sleep.

1744
01:43:10,320 --> 01:43:13,960
>> Diana,

1745
01:43:10,960 --> 01:43:13,960
>> him.

1746
01:43:14,480 --> 01:43:20,320
>> We did have a boy.

1747
01:43:17,119 --> 01:43:23,920
>> Diana, you shouldn't.

1748
01:43:20,320 --> 01:43:27,506
>> We were still living

1749
01:43:23,920 --> 01:43:29,471
It's not a good idea.

1750
01:43:27,506 --> 01:43:31,491
[singing]

1751
01:43:29,471 --> 01:43:31,491
[music]

1752
01:43:33,520 --> 01:43:37,960
>> The lights of the city.

1753
01:43:38,800 --> 01:43:44,880
>> Please don't.

1754
01:43:41,119 --> 01:43:49,000
How could I ever forget

1755
01:43:44,880 --> 01:43:49,000
outside the morning?

1756
01:43:49,360 --> 01:43:56,840
He had such chills, but still he lay

1757
01:43:53,360 --> 01:43:56,840
there so

1758
01:44:04,159 --> 01:44:07,159
cold.

1759
01:44:10,159 --> 01:44:20,119
We ran him inside,

1760
01:44:14,320 --> 01:44:20,119
lost, woring, wondering

1761
01:44:20,560 --> 01:44:24,920
that hospital room

1762
01:44:26,400 --> 01:44:29,400
that

1763
01:44:33,280 --> 01:44:37,199
could ever

1764
01:44:35,627 --> 01:44:43,159
[singing]

1765
01:44:37,199 --> 01:44:43,159
>> screaming at doctor's armed upset

1766
01:44:44,480 --> 01:44:47,719
will happen.

1767
01:44:48,800 --> 01:44:54,920
But I was shy years [singing]

1768
01:44:51,920 --> 01:44:54,920
ago

1769
01:44:58,239 --> 01:45:05,639
of joy

1770
01:45:00,639 --> 01:45:05,639
and a moment of dread.

1771
01:45:05,840 --> 01:45:10,119
Someone simply said,

1772
01:45:11,199 --> 01:45:14,600
your child.

1773
01:45:16,480 --> 01:45:23,000
How could I ever forget? How could I

1774
01:45:20,000 --> 01:45:23,000
ever

1775
01:45:32,613 --> 01:45:34,633
[music]

1776
01:45:54,560 --> 01:45:59,800
Why would you want to remember the

1777
01:45:56,080 --> 01:45:59,800
things that hurt you?

1778
01:45:59,920 --> 01:46:04,440
>> I want to remember everything. Dan,

1779
01:46:09,119 --> 01:46:12,679
>> how did he die?

1780
01:46:12,800 --> 01:46:16,800
>> He was sick.

1781
01:46:14,719 --> 01:46:21,360
with what?

1782
01:46:16,800 --> 01:46:25,600
Why wasn't he treated? What was wrong?

1783
01:46:21,360 --> 01:46:28,560
>> Something the doctor song missed.

1784
01:46:25,600 --> 01:46:30,800
The clinic, the ER,

1785
01:46:28,560 --> 01:46:33,440
each specialist

1786
01:46:30,800 --> 01:46:38,880
said, "Babies cry.

1787
01:46:33,440 --> 01:46:42,753
Allergies, gas. Who knows why?"

1788
01:46:38,880 --> 01:46:42,753
When I was a child, [singing]

1789
01:46:43,520 --> 01:46:47,400
raising a child

1790
01:46:50,880 --> 01:46:59,560
stayed up all night.

1791
01:46:54,400 --> 01:46:59,560
Most nights you slept at his side.

1792
01:47:00,639 --> 01:47:05,080
Still he just cried.

1793
01:47:11,840 --> 01:47:16,719
He was a baby when he died, but I

1794
01:47:13,760 --> 01:47:19,760
remember him older.

1795
01:47:16,719 --> 01:47:21,600
>> No, he was a baby. Um,

1796
01:47:19,760 --> 01:47:23,440
we should call Dr. Madden.

1797
01:47:21,600 --> 01:47:26,320
>> Why would we call Dr. Madden? I'm just

1798
01:47:23,440 --> 01:47:30,639
I'm trying to make sense of this.

1799
01:47:26,320 --> 01:47:32,159
God, what was his name?

1800
01:47:30,639 --> 01:47:33,440
I don't remember you ever saying his

1801
01:47:32,159 --> 01:47:35,760
name. Why is that?

1802
01:47:33,440 --> 01:47:38,000
>> Diana. Um,

1803
01:47:35,760 --> 01:47:38,560
>> what was his name?

1804
01:47:38,000 --> 01:47:40,560
>> Tell me.

1805
01:47:38,560 --> 01:47:42,560
>> It's going to be fine. It's going to be

1806
01:47:40,560 --> 01:47:44,400
fine. Going to go back to the doctor cuz

1807
01:47:42,560 --> 01:47:45,840
we caught it just in time. We'll take

1808
01:47:44,400 --> 01:47:47,040
the pills and pay the bills. We'll do

1809
01:47:45,840 --> 01:47:47,600
more ECT.

1810
01:47:47,040 --> 01:47:48,639
>> Our son. [music]

1811
01:47:47,600 --> 01:47:50,239
>> It's going to be good.

1812
01:47:48,639 --> 01:47:51,360
>> What was his name?

1813
01:47:50,239 --> 01:47:54,159
>> It's going to be good to see.

1814
01:47:51,360 --> 01:47:55,280
>> What was his name? [laughter]

1815
01:47:54,159 --> 01:47:55,600
>> What was his name? What was his name?

1816
01:47:55,280 --> 01:47:56,400
What was [singing and music] his name?

1817
01:47:55,600 --> 01:47:57,440
What was his name? What was his name?

1818
01:47:56,400 --> 01:48:00,159
What was his name? What was his name?

1819
01:47:57,440 --> 01:48:02,080
Name name. What was his name? What was

1820
01:48:00,159 --> 01:48:05,080
his name?

1821
01:48:02,080 --> 01:48:05,080
Natalie.

1822
01:48:28,400 --> 01:48:31,719
Why stay?

1823
01:48:31,760 --> 01:48:34,719
Why stay?

1824
01:48:34,880 --> 01:48:40,880
So steadfast and solid and stoic and

1825
01:48:39,360 --> 01:48:44,960
solid

1826
01:48:40,880 --> 01:48:46,960
for day after every day.

1827
01:48:44,960 --> 01:48:49,280
Why stay?

1828
01:48:46,960 --> 01:48:52,560
Why stay?

1829
01:48:49,280 --> 01:48:55,040
Why not simply give and get on with

1830
01:48:52,560 --> 01:48:59,280
everyone knows you tried but somehow

1831
01:48:55,040 --> 01:49:02,320
something died on the way.

1832
01:48:59,280 --> 01:49:04,639
So tell me why you stay. Why stay? Why

1833
01:49:02,320 --> 01:49:06,639
stay and drinking, hoping and hurting

1834
01:49:04,639 --> 01:49:10,480
and hoping for day after [music] [ __ ]

1835
01:49:06,639 --> 01:49:12,560
day? Why stay? Why stay? Why not simply

1836
01:49:10,480 --> 01:49:14,000
end it? We all comprehend it. And most

1837
01:49:12,560 --> 01:49:19,440
of the world [music and singing] say

1838
01:49:14,000 --> 01:49:23,560
he's better off way to be free. [music]

1839
01:49:19,440 --> 01:49:23,560
And maybe so is she.

1840
01:49:24,239 --> 01:49:30,880
I promise. A boy says forever.

1841
01:49:28,000 --> 01:49:34,000
A voice says, "Whatever may come will

1842
01:49:30,880 --> 01:49:35,679
come true." And who can know how when

1843
01:49:34,000 --> 01:49:39,600
all I know now [singing and music] to be

1844
01:49:35,679 --> 01:49:42,600
true. Is this promise that I make to

1845
01:49:39,600 --> 01:49:42,600
you?

1846
01:49:43,280 --> 01:49:48,440
>> A question. A boy wonders whe

1847
01:49:48,720 --> 01:49:54,560
[singing] the way that they stay for

1848
01:49:51,119 --> 01:49:58,320
year after year from love or from fear.

1849
01:49:54,560 --> 01:50:00,480
the way. That's the promise that I made

1850
01:49:58,320 --> 01:50:02,719
that day.

1851
01:50:00,480 --> 01:50:06,159
>> Here's what I [music] say to the girl

1852
01:50:02,719 --> 01:50:07,840
who was burning so brightly like the

1853
01:50:06,159 --> 01:50:09,679
light from the [singing and music] riot

1854
01:50:07,840 --> 01:50:13,440
above.

1855
01:50:09,679 --> 01:50:15,576
And still I will search for her nightly.

1856
01:50:13,440 --> 01:50:17,040
If you see her, please send her my love.

1857
01:50:15,576 --> 01:50:20,000
[music and singing]

1858
01:50:17,040 --> 01:50:22,480
And the boy was a boy for all seasons.

1859
01:50:20,000 --> 01:50:25,119
>> The boy is lost. The boy [music] is long

1860
01:50:22,480 --> 01:50:26,880
lost to me. Now [singing]

1861
01:50:25,119 --> 01:50:29,199
>> the man has forgotten his [music]

1862
01:50:26,880 --> 01:50:31,199
reasons.

1863
01:50:29,199 --> 01:50:33,679
>> The man still [singing] remembers his

1864
01:50:31,199 --> 01:50:37,679
vow.

1865
01:50:33,679 --> 01:50:41,440
>> I promise. A man says forever.

1866
01:50:37,679 --> 01:50:45,280
A man says I'll never regret or let you.

1867
01:50:41,440 --> 01:50:48,760
the promise that I made to stay. And I

1868
01:50:45,280 --> 01:50:48,760
stayed true,

1869
01:50:49,760 --> 01:50:56,719
knowing one day we'd remember that joy.

1870
01:50:53,760 --> 01:51:00,080
You'd remember that girl, I'd remember

1871
01:50:56,719 --> 01:51:04,800
that boy. Until we knew the promise I

1872
01:51:00,080 --> 01:51:07,199
made, I'll make it brand new.

1873
01:51:04,800 --> 01:51:11,000
The promise

1874
01:51:07,199 --> 01:51:11,000
that I made

1875
01:51:11,040 --> 01:51:14,520
to you.

1876
01:51:18,320 --> 01:51:23,000
I am more [singing] than me.

1877
01:51:23,119 --> 01:51:29,647
I am what might be.

1878
01:51:26,159 --> 01:51:29,647
I am mystery. [singing]

1879
01:51:30,400 --> 01:51:34,119
Come close.

1880
01:51:35,760 --> 01:51:42,800
Come closer,

1881
01:51:39,119 --> 01:51:44,480
>> Diana. There's nothing there.

1882
01:51:42,800 --> 01:51:48,159
>> I'm old [singing and music] this time

1883
01:51:44,480 --> 01:51:52,320
and forever young. I am every song that

1884
01:51:48,159 --> 01:51:54,482
will stay unsung. I'll find you.

1885
01:51:52,320 --> 01:51:55,119
>> God damn it.

1886
01:51:54,482 --> 01:51:55,840
[singing]

1887
01:51:55,119 --> 01:51:57,440
>> Natalie

1888
01:51:55,840 --> 01:52:01,687
>> Diana, come back here.

1889
01:51:57,440 --> 01:52:05,360
>> Till [music] you name me, you can't

1890
01:52:01,687 --> 01:52:09,119
[singing] save me. This is one old game

1891
01:52:05,360 --> 01:52:12,400
that I can play so [music] well.

1892
01:52:09,119 --> 01:52:14,000
I'm alive. I'm alive. I am so alive. And

1893
01:52:12,400 --> 01:52:17,280
the medicine fails [music] and the

1894
01:52:14,000 --> 01:52:20,682
doctors lie. I'm alive. I'm alive. I am

1895
01:52:17,280 --> 01:52:24,000
deathified. I'm alive.

1896
01:52:20,682 --> 01:52:25,760
[music] I'm so alive.

1897
01:52:24,000 --> 01:52:27,360
I'm alive.

1898
01:52:25,760 --> 01:52:28,480
>> You can't go to your dad. I have to take

1899
01:52:27,360 --> 01:52:29,360
my mom to the doctor.

1900
01:52:28,480 --> 01:52:30,080
>> Well, I'll drive.

1901
01:52:29,360 --> 01:52:32,960
>> No.

1902
01:52:30,080 --> 01:52:34,000
>> I'm alive. Daddy, let me help you.

1903
01:52:32,960 --> 01:52:35,360
>> No, you can't.

1904
01:52:34,000 --> 01:52:36,239
>> Diana, [screaming]

1905
01:52:35,360 --> 01:52:38,719
>> just go.

1906
01:52:36,239 --> 01:52:40,719
>> I'm alive.

1907
01:52:38,719 --> 01:52:42,000
>> Look, I I'll try to come later.

1908
01:52:40,719 --> 01:52:46,440
>> Okay, I'll wait for you there.

1909
01:52:42,000 --> 01:52:46,440
>> I'm alive.

1910
01:52:50,157 --> 01:52:53,360
[music]

1911
01:52:51,280 --> 01:52:55,520
They told me that the wiring was somehow

1912
01:52:53,360 --> 01:52:57,599
misfiring and screwing up the signals in

1913
01:52:55,520 --> 01:52:59,040
my brain. And then they told me

1914
01:52:57,599 --> 01:53:00,880
chemistry the juice and that the

1915
01:52:59,040 --> 01:53:04,239
circuitry was mixing up and making me

1916
01:53:00,880 --> 01:53:06,080
insane. What happens when the burn is

1917
01:53:04,239 --> 01:53:07,599
healed [music] but the skin is not

1918
01:53:06,080 --> 01:53:11,520
regrown?

1919
01:53:07,599 --> 01:53:15,040
What happens when last [music] comes off

1920
01:53:11,520 --> 01:53:15,760
and then you find the bra

1921
01:53:15,040 --> 01:53:17,840
in [music and singing]

1922
01:53:15,760 --> 01:53:20,000
another bone?

1923
01:53:17,840 --> 01:53:21,679
>> Relapse is very common, Diana. It's

1924
01:53:20,000 --> 01:53:23,679
upsetting that the delusional episodes

1925
01:53:21,679 --> 01:53:26,400
have returned but not entirely

1926
01:53:23,679 --> 01:53:27,920
unexpected.

1927
01:53:26,400 --> 01:53:29,199
They tried a million meds and they

1928
01:53:27,920 --> 01:53:30,719
strapped me to their beds and they

1929
01:53:29,199 --> 01:53:33,599
shrugged and told me that's the way it

1930
01:53:30,719 --> 01:53:35,040
goes. When finally you hit it, I asked

1931
01:53:33,599 --> 01:53:37,599
you just what did it. You shrugged and

1932
01:53:35,040 --> 01:53:39,840
said that no one really knows. What

1933
01:53:37,599 --> 01:53:42,639
happens if the medicine [music]

1934
01:53:39,840 --> 01:53:45,360
wasn't really in control?

1935
01:53:42,639 --> 01:53:49,520
What happens if the cut, the burn, the

1936
01:53:45,360 --> 01:53:53,693
break? It's never in my [music] brain or

1937
01:53:49,520 --> 01:53:55,713
in my blood. in my soul.

1938
01:53:53,693 --> 01:53:55,713
[music]

1939
01:53:56,960 --> 01:54:04,080
What happens if the cut, the burn, the

1940
01:54:01,520 --> 01:54:08,239
break

1941
01:54:04,080 --> 01:54:10,960
was never in my brain

1942
01:54:08,239 --> 01:54:13,040
or in my blood,

1943
01:54:10,960 --> 01:54:14,000
but in

1944
01:54:13,040 --> 01:54:17,000
my [singing]

1945
01:54:14,000 --> 01:54:17,000
soul.

1946
01:54:19,280 --> 01:54:23,679
Make up [singing] your mind. This is

1947
01:54:21,440 --> 01:54:26,639
clarity.

1948
01:54:23,679 --> 01:54:29,719
Clarity [music] that you did not have

1949
01:54:26,639 --> 01:54:32,159
before. The treatment is strong but

1950
01:54:29,719 --> 01:54:34,400
[singing] lasts only [music] so long.

1951
01:54:32,159 --> 01:54:35,679
And maybe your mind's needing [singing]

1952
01:54:34,400 --> 01:54:36,960
more.

1953
01:54:35,679 --> 01:54:38,960
>> Let's say that's not it.

1954
01:54:36,960 --> 01:54:41,440
>> The ECT [music] is powerful. It gave you

1955
01:54:38,960 --> 01:54:43,199
your life back, but the effects fade and

1956
01:54:41,440 --> 01:54:44,159
additional treatments are almost always

1957
01:54:43,199 --> 01:54:47,280
needed.

1958
01:54:44,159 --> 01:54:50,480
>> That wasn't on the form. Make up your

1959
01:54:47,280 --> 01:54:53,280
mind that you'll try [music] again.

1960
01:54:50,480 --> 01:54:55,760
Make up your mind. There are moments of

1961
01:54:53,280 --> 01:54:58,800
light. The one thing that [music] sure

1962
01:54:55,760 --> 01:55:02,639
is that there is no cure. But that

1963
01:54:58,800 --> 01:55:06,239
doesn't mean we don't fight.

1964
01:55:02,639 --> 01:55:10,080
>> We'll return to talk therapy.

1965
01:55:06,239 --> 01:55:10,080
>> There's still work to do.

1966
01:55:13,119 --> 01:55:19,760
We might have to look at a

1967
01:55:16,400 --> 01:55:21,360
>> a new drug regimen.

1968
01:55:19,760 --> 01:55:26,920
>> There are other promising therapies.

1969
01:55:21,360 --> 01:55:26,920
EMDR for instance or TMS.

1970
01:55:28,669 --> 01:55:34,000
[singing]

1971
01:55:30,639 --> 01:55:36,239
>> Diana, you have a chronic illness

1972
01:55:34,000 --> 01:55:40,400
like diabetes or hypertension. If left

1973
01:55:36,239 --> 01:55:43,800
untreated, it could be catastrophic.

1974
01:55:40,400 --> 01:55:43,800
>> I understand.

1975
01:55:44,159 --> 01:55:50,400
But there has to be another way.

1976
01:55:46,560 --> 01:55:53,040
>> Stay with me. Try again.

1977
01:55:50,400 --> 01:55:55,599
Don't walk out on treatment. Don't lose

1978
01:55:53,040 --> 01:56:00,440
what you've won. You've struggled for

1979
01:55:55,599 --> 01:56:00,440
years, but you've only begun.

1980
01:56:02,080 --> 01:56:08,080
My first psychiatrist told me that

1981
01:56:05,360 --> 01:56:10,080
according to the manual,

1982
01:56:08,080 --> 01:56:12,400
grief that continues past 6 [music]

1983
01:56:10,080 --> 01:56:16,119
months is pathological

1984
01:56:12,400 --> 01:56:16,119
and should be medicated.

1985
01:56:16,880 --> 01:56:20,199
6 months

1986
01:56:20,800 --> 01:56:26,480
for the life of my child

1987
01:56:24,800 --> 01:56:28,560
who makes these decisions.

1988
01:56:26,480 --> 01:56:31,119
>> It's a guideline, nothing more.

1989
01:56:28,560 --> 01:56:31,119
>> Yes.

1990
01:56:31,199 --> 01:56:37,400
Nothing more. [music and singing]

1991
01:56:34,000 --> 01:56:37,400
>> Try again.

1992
01:56:38,100 --> 01:56:43,119
[music] You know that it's not. We know

1993
01:56:41,119 --> 01:56:46,080
it's not perfect, [singing] but it's

1994
01:56:43,119 --> 01:56:49,400
what we've got.

1995
01:56:46,080 --> 01:56:49,400
It's all

1996
01:56:54,239 --> 01:56:58,040
goodbye, Dr. Madden.

1997
01:57:03,360 --> 01:57:10,480
So, what did he say?

1998
01:57:06,639 --> 01:57:13,760
Uh, he said I could do more ECT or go

1999
01:57:10,480 --> 01:57:16,000
back on the meds.

2000
01:57:13,760 --> 01:57:18,000
>> Okay. So, what are you going to do?

2001
01:57:16,000 --> 01:57:19,440
>> I'm going to take you to your dance.

2002
01:57:18,000 --> 01:57:21,520
>> Mom, it's time you start thinking of

2003
01:57:19,440 --> 01:57:26,599
your own happiness.

2004
01:57:21,520 --> 01:57:26,599
>> It's not happiness. It's Henry.

2005
01:57:28,000 --> 01:57:31,480
You love him.

2006
01:57:31,920 --> 01:57:36,400
>> Mommy, you can't just walk out on your

2007
01:57:34,719 --> 01:57:42,040
doctor.

2008
01:57:36,400 --> 01:57:42,040
Maybe [singing] I've lost it. At last

2009
01:57:42,946 --> 01:57:44,966
[singing]

2010
01:57:45,280 --> 01:57:48,280
moment

2011
01:57:48,480 --> 01:57:52,599
I'm dancing [music]

2012
01:57:49,599 --> 01:57:52,599
with

2013
01:57:55,391 --> 01:57:57,411
[singing]

2014
01:58:01,286 --> 01:58:06,239
[singing]

2015
01:58:03,040 --> 01:58:08,560
the game

2016
01:58:06,239 --> 01:58:13,599
of coming up [singing and music] short

2017
01:58:08,560 --> 01:58:15,040
of the rules, of the shame. And maybe

2018
01:58:13,599 --> 01:58:18,040
you feel that [singing and music] way,

2019
01:58:15,040 --> 01:58:18,040
too.

2020
01:58:18,080 --> 01:58:21,800
I see me.

2021
01:58:22,480 --> 01:58:28,199
A girl [music and singing] full of anger

2022
01:58:24,800 --> 01:58:28,199
and hope.

2023
01:58:28,239 --> 01:58:32,639
A girl [singing and music] with a mother

2024
01:58:30,560 --> 01:58:36,119
who just

2025
01:58:32,639 --> 01:58:36,119
couldn't cope.

2026
01:58:36,400 --> 01:58:45,400
A girl who felt caught

2027
01:58:40,400 --> 01:58:45,400
and thought no one could see.

2028
01:58:45,440 --> 01:58:50,000
But maybe [singing and music] one day

2029
01:58:47,360 --> 01:58:51,722
she'll be free.

2030
01:58:50,000 --> 01:58:54,719
It's so lovely [music] that you're

2031
01:58:51,722 --> 01:58:59,360
[singing] sharing. No, really, I'm all

2032
01:58:54,719 --> 01:59:02,400
ears. But where is all this caring been?

2033
01:58:59,360 --> 01:59:06,320
For 16 years. For all those [singing]

2034
01:59:02,400 --> 01:59:09,360
years I prayed that you'd go away.

2035
01:59:06,320 --> 01:59:12,960
for good.

2036
01:59:09,360 --> 01:59:14,480
Half the time afraid that you really

2037
01:59:12,960 --> 01:59:16,159
would.

2038
01:59:14,480 --> 01:59:18,719
When I thought you might be [music]

2039
01:59:16,159 --> 01:59:24,920
dying, I cried for all [singing] we'd

2040
01:59:18,719 --> 01:59:24,920
never be. But there'll be no more cry.

2041
01:59:25,360 --> 01:59:30,960
Not for me. [music]

2042
01:59:28,159 --> 01:59:34,520
Will get better, [singing] you'll see.

2043
01:59:30,960 --> 01:59:34,520
Not for me.

2044
01:59:36,480 --> 01:59:40,247
Not for me. [music]

2045
01:59:40,480 --> 01:59:46,440
>> Not for me. Not for you'll see.

2046
01:59:53,360 --> 01:59:56,360
Maybe

2047
02:00:01,280 --> 02:00:07,080
we're tough and we'll try. Anyway,

2048
02:00:07,920 --> 02:00:10,920
we'll

2049
02:00:13,040 --> 02:00:24,280
let go of what's past

2050
02:00:17,760 --> 02:00:24,280
and maybe I'll see you at last.

2051
02:00:24,880 --> 02:00:28,760
I don't believe you.

2052
02:00:31,440 --> 02:00:38,040
17 years ago, your brother died of an

2053
02:00:34,400 --> 02:00:38,040
intestinal obstruction.

2054
02:00:38,639 --> 02:00:42,520
He was 8 months old.

2055
02:00:46,719 --> 02:00:50,800
I know I I couldn't say that to you

2056
02:00:48,560 --> 02:00:54,040
before.

2057
02:00:50,800 --> 02:00:54,040
I'm sorry.

2058
02:00:57,119 --> 02:01:01,440
We wanted to give you a normal life.

2059
02:01:02,480 --> 02:01:07,000
I realize I have no clue what that is.

2060
02:01:09,440 --> 02:01:18,280
I don't need a life that's normal.

2061
02:01:14,400 --> 02:01:18,280
That's way tooal.

2062
02:01:26,560 --> 02:01:29,560
Somethingal

2063
02:01:29,679 --> 02:01:32,908
that's [music]

2064
02:01:34,800 --> 02:01:39,459
close enough to normal. [singing]

2065
02:01:42,678 --> 02:01:44,698
[singing]

2066
02:01:47,119 --> 02:01:51,159
We'll get by.

2067
02:01:52,639 --> 02:01:56,599
We'll get by.

2068
02:01:57,920 --> 02:02:00,920
Okay,

2069
02:02:02,400 --> 02:02:06,199
now go to your dance.

2070
02:02:22,239 --> 02:02:25,239
Hey,

2071
02:02:26,320 --> 02:02:30,360
>> you look like a star,

2072
02:02:30,480 --> 02:02:33,824
a vision in blue. [singing]

2073
02:02:34,400 --> 02:02:39,440
>> Oh, I do.

2074
02:02:36,800 --> 02:02:41,280
>> And you are.

2075
02:02:39,440 --> 02:02:44,520
Hey,

2076
02:02:41,280 --> 02:02:44,520
you came

2077
02:02:47,440 --> 02:02:53,280
>> I thought we were through.

2078
02:02:51,119 --> 02:02:55,360
Me and you. [singing]

2079
02:02:53,280 --> 02:02:57,520
>> Not tonight.

2080
02:02:55,360 --> 02:02:59,315
>> Will your mom be okay?

2081
02:02:57,520 --> 02:02:59,520
>> Well, she [music] might be someday,

2082
02:02:59,315 --> 02:03:01,920
[singing]

2083
02:02:59,520 --> 02:03:03,840
>> but for now it's all fine.

2084
02:03:01,920 --> 02:03:07,119
>> She's still on my mind.

2085
02:03:03,840 --> 02:03:10,560
>> Can you leave it behind?

2086
02:03:07,119 --> 02:03:13,679
Let's see this thing. Crazy.

2087
02:03:10,560 --> 02:03:16,159
I might end up crazy.

2088
02:03:13,679 --> 02:03:18,880
>> I'll be here for you.

2089
02:03:16,159 --> 02:03:21,599
>> You say that right here,

2090
02:03:18,880 --> 02:03:24,480
but then give it a year or 10 [music]

2091
02:03:21,599 --> 02:03:27,360
years or a life. I could end up your

2092
02:03:24,480 --> 02:03:29,280
wife sitting staring the walls, throwing

2093
02:03:27,360 --> 02:03:31,760
[ __ ] down the [music] stairs, freaking

2094
02:03:29,280 --> 02:03:35,920
out at the store, running nude down the

2095
02:03:31,760 --> 02:03:38,920
street, bleeding out in the back.

2096
02:03:35,920 --> 02:03:38,920
Perfect.

2097
02:03:47,599 --> 02:03:53,199
So you could go crazy or I could go

2098
02:03:51,599 --> 02:03:56,599
crazy.

2099
02:03:53,199 --> 02:03:56,599
It's true.

2100
02:04:02,080 --> 02:04:08,440
But crazy

2101
02:04:03,920 --> 02:04:08,440
I know I [singing] can do

2102
02:04:09,280 --> 02:04:18,599
crazy is perfect and [ __ ] up is

2103
02:04:12,800 --> 02:04:18,599
perfect. So I will be perfect

2104
02:04:19,599 --> 02:04:21,901
perfect [singing]

2105
02:04:26,159 --> 02:04:29,106
for [singing]

2106
02:04:29,280 --> 02:04:32,280
you.

2107
02:04:52,239 --> 02:04:55,560
So anyway,

2108
02:04:55,599 --> 02:04:58,920
I'm leaving.

2109
02:04:59,119 --> 02:05:06,280
I thought you'd like to know.

2110
02:05:02,960 --> 02:05:06,280
You're faithful.

2111
02:05:06,800 --> 02:05:11,159
But clearly I can't

2112
02:05:11,280 --> 02:05:15,400
go that way.

2113
02:05:16,080 --> 02:05:20,760
So here I go.

2114
02:05:22,159 --> 02:05:25,480
And anyway,

2115
02:05:25,599 --> 02:05:28,920
I'm leaving.

2116
02:05:29,840 --> 02:05:33,880
I guess that you can see.

2117
02:05:34,320 --> 02:05:44,840
I'll try this on my own. A life.

2118
02:05:39,520 --> 02:05:44,840
I'll face the dread alone,

2119
02:05:45,440 --> 02:05:50,440
but I'll be free.

2120
02:05:53,280 --> 02:05:57,531
With you always beside me. [music]

2121
02:06:02,062 --> 02:06:04,320
>> [singing]

2122
02:06:04,027 --> 02:06:07,280
[music]

2123
02:06:04,320 --> 02:06:10,920
>> solid ground at all

2124
02:06:07,280 --> 02:06:10,920
with you always

2125
02:06:12,719 --> 02:06:18,400
come through.

2126
02:06:15,119 --> 02:06:21,960
It makes me feel the fool to know that

2127
02:06:18,400 --> 02:06:21,960
it's not true.

2128
02:06:22,560 --> 02:06:28,560
What doctors call dysfunction, we tried

2129
02:06:25,520 --> 02:06:29,599
to call romance. True. It's quite a

2130
02:06:28,560 --> 02:06:36,159
trick to tell the [music and singing]

2131
02:06:29,599 --> 02:06:42,440
dancers from the dance. But ra chance,

2132
02:06:36,159 --> 02:06:42,440
I'll take a chance.

2133
02:06:45,920 --> 02:06:49,639
I'll take a chance.

2134
02:06:51,520 --> 02:06:55,719
It's that or stay and die.

2135
02:06:56,400 --> 02:07:05,639
I loved you once and you love me.

2136
02:07:01,679 --> 02:07:05,639
It's time for me.

2137
02:07:09,760 --> 02:07:13,320
I loved you.

2138
02:07:14,800 --> 02:07:20,159
I love you.

2139
02:07:17,679 --> 02:07:23,920
I know

2140
02:07:20,159 --> 02:07:27,280
it's time for me

2141
02:07:23,920 --> 02:07:27,280
to go.

2142
02:07:32,880 --> 02:07:36,119
And so

2143
02:07:37,920 --> 02:07:40,920
goodbye.

2144
02:08:06,480 --> 02:08:15,520
I am the one who loved you.

2145
02:08:10,480 --> 02:08:20,360
I am the one who stayed. I am the one

2146
02:08:15,520 --> 02:08:20,360
and you walked away.

2147
02:08:23,543 --> 02:08:25,563
>> [singing]

2148
02:08:25,679 --> 02:08:32,239
>> And now you act like you just don't give

2149
02:08:29,360 --> 02:08:35,520
a damn.

2150
02:08:32,239 --> 02:08:36,960
Like you [singing] never knew

2151
02:08:35,520 --> 02:08:40,159
I am.

2152
02:08:36,960 --> 02:08:44,480
>> I am the one who knows.

2153
02:08:40,159 --> 02:08:46,524
>> I am the one you feel. I am the one who

2154
02:08:44,480 --> 02:08:46,524
always. [singing and music]

2155
02:08:49,280 --> 02:08:53,960
I am the one who hear

2156
02:09:06,719 --> 02:09:10,040
>> you [singing] know.

2157
02:09:10,480 --> 02:09:14,159
>> Can't you just leave me alone?

2158
02:09:13,979 --> 02:09:16,320
[singing]

2159
02:09:14,159 --> 02:09:19,219
>> I am.

2160
02:09:16,320 --> 02:09:21,239
Why don't you go with her?

2161
02:09:19,219 --> 02:09:21,239
[music]

2162
02:09:21,839 --> 02:09:27,079
[singing]

2163
02:09:22,719 --> 02:09:28,400
Go. And I won't let go. [music]

2164
02:09:27,079 --> 02:09:30,960
[singing]

2165
02:09:28,400 --> 02:09:34,284
You don't know.

2166
02:09:30,960 --> 02:09:37,119
I am the one who helped you. I am the

2167
02:09:34,284 --> 02:09:40,000
[music] one who cried. I am the one who

2168
02:09:37,119 --> 02:09:42,799
watch you die. [singing]

2169
02:09:40,000 --> 02:09:45,599
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I am the one who

2170
02:09:42,799 --> 02:09:48,960
[music] loved you. I tried pretending

2171
02:09:45,599 --> 02:09:51,920
that I don't give a damn.

2172
02:09:48,960 --> 02:09:54,920
But you've always [singing] known who I

2173
02:09:51,920 --> 02:09:54,920
am.

2174
02:09:55,040 --> 02:09:58,040
Gabe

2175
02:09:58,719 --> 02:10:01,719
Gabriel.

2176
02:10:08,880 --> 02:10:11,880
death.

2177
02:10:12,800 --> 02:10:17,079
What the hell? Why are the lights off?

2178
02:10:19,360 --> 02:10:22,679
There's mom.

2179
02:10:23,119 --> 02:10:26,119
She's

2180
02:10:27,920 --> 02:10:30,920
She's

2181
02:10:32,480 --> 02:10:35,480
gone.

2182
02:10:41,840 --> 02:10:49,560
So, it's uh

2183
02:10:45,280 --> 02:10:49,560
it's just me and you for now.

2184
02:10:56,480 --> 02:10:59,480
>> Yeah.

2185
02:11:17,040 --> 02:11:21,840
Hey.

2186
02:11:19,199 --> 02:11:24,840
Okay.

2187
02:11:21,840 --> 02:11:24,840
Okay.

2188
02:11:27,040 --> 02:11:32,440
We [singing] need some light.

2189
02:11:33,040 --> 02:11:36,171
First of all, [singing]

2190
02:11:39,199 --> 02:11:46,960
you can't sit here in the dark

2191
02:11:44,000 --> 02:11:55,400
and all [singing] alone.

2192
02:11:46,960 --> 02:11:55,400
It's a sight. It's just you and me.

2193
02:11:56,400 --> 02:12:01,360
We'll live. You'll see.

2194
02:12:06,560 --> 02:12:17,440
Night after night,

2195
02:12:11,280 --> 02:12:20,020
we'd sit and wait for the morning light.

2196
02:12:17,440 --> 02:12:20,639
But we've [music] waited far too

2197
02:12:20,020 --> 02:12:25,760
[singing]

2198
02:12:20,639 --> 02:12:27,679
long for all that's wrong to be made

2199
02:12:25,760 --> 02:12:32,840
right.

2200
02:12:27,679 --> 02:12:32,840
Day after day,

2201
02:12:32,880 --> 02:12:41,920
wishing [singing] all our cares away.

2202
02:12:38,639 --> 02:12:47,566
Trying to [singing] fight the things we

2203
02:12:41,920 --> 02:12:47,566
feel. But some hurts never. [singing]

2204
02:12:49,119 --> 02:12:57,800
Some ghosts are never gone, but we go

2205
02:12:54,717 --> 02:12:57,800
[singing] on.

2206
02:12:58,719 --> 02:13:03,000
We still go on

2207
02:13:03,040 --> 02:13:11,747
and you find some way to survive.

2208
02:13:08,400 --> 02:13:16,800
And you [singing] find out you don't

2209
02:13:11,747 --> 02:13:21,040
[music] have to be happy at all

2210
02:13:16,800 --> 02:13:22,960
to be happy or alive.

2211
02:13:21,040 --> 02:13:23,840
>> Do you know where she went? Have you

2212
02:13:22,960 --> 02:13:25,920
heard from her?

2213
02:13:23,840 --> 02:13:29,560
>> Yeah. Yeah, I heard from her. She's

2214
02:13:25,920 --> 02:13:29,560
staying with my grandparents.

2215
02:13:29,760 --> 02:13:33,480
>> Do they actually exist?

2216
02:13:33,520 --> 02:13:37,760
>> Yes.

2217
02:13:35,920 --> 02:13:39,760
>> So, that's good, right?

2218
02:13:37,760 --> 02:13:41,520
>> Well, going home has never been a

2219
02:13:39,760 --> 02:13:43,360
solution to any of my problems.

2220
02:13:41,520 --> 02:13:45,760
>> Well, that's what you got me for.

2221
02:13:43,360 --> 02:13:48,079
>> Seriously, you're like number three on

2222
02:13:45,760 --> 02:13:49,360
my list of issues.

2223
02:13:48,079 --> 02:13:51,679
>> You keep a list.

2224
02:13:49,360 --> 02:13:53,199
>> Don't worry, Henry. They're my favorite

2225
02:13:51,679 --> 02:13:55,679
problem.

2226
02:13:53,199 --> 02:13:57,679
>> That's all I ask.

2227
02:13:55,679 --> 02:13:59,562
Day after [music]

2228
02:13:57,679 --> 02:14:00,560
day,

2229
02:13:59,562 --> 02:14:04,802
[singing]

2230
02:14:00,560 --> 02:14:05,840
give me clouds and rain and pray.

2231
02:14:04,802 --> 02:14:08,880
[singing]

2232
02:14:05,840 --> 02:14:12,639
Give me pain if that's what's [music]

2233
02:14:08,880 --> 02:14:15,639
real. Cuz the price [singing] we pay to

2234
02:14:12,639 --> 02:14:15,639
feel.

2235
02:14:16,079 --> 02:14:23,798
The price of love [music] is lost. But

2236
02:14:20,320 --> 02:14:24,800
still we pay

2237
02:14:23,798 --> 02:14:28,679
[music and singing]

2238
02:14:24,800 --> 02:14:28,679
we love anyway.

2239
02:14:29,037 --> 02:14:32,320
[singing]

2240
02:14:30,800 --> 02:14:34,239
Look, I know you can't tell me if you're

2241
02:14:32,320 --> 02:14:34,560
treating her. Uh, I just wonder if she's

2242
02:14:34,239 --> 02:14:36,960
okay.

2243
02:14:34,560 --> 02:14:39,599
>> I think she's working on it and she's

2244
02:14:36,960 --> 02:14:42,480
aware of the risks.

2245
02:14:39,599 --> 02:14:44,639
Do you think she'll come home?

2246
02:14:42,480 --> 02:14:47,199
It's hard to say,

2247
02:14:44,639 --> 02:14:49,599
right? Dan,

2248
02:14:47,199 --> 02:14:50,800
would you like me to recommend someone

2249
02:14:49,599 --> 02:14:53,679
for you to talk to?

2250
02:14:50,800 --> 02:14:58,480
>> No.

2251
02:14:53,679 --> 02:15:00,480
Yes. Yes, I would. Thank you.

2252
02:14:58,480 --> 02:15:02,719
And [music] when the night has finally

2253
02:15:00,480 --> 02:15:05,920
gone, and when we see the [singing] new

2254
02:15:02,719 --> 02:15:08,639
day dawn, we wonder how we wandered for

2255
02:15:05,920 --> 02:15:11,440
so long, so [music and singing] blind.

2256
02:15:08,639 --> 02:15:13,760
The wasted world we thought we knew. The

2257
02:15:11,440 --> 02:15:15,543
light will make it look brand new. Heat.

2258
02:15:13,760 --> 02:15:17,508
Heat.

2259
02:15:15,543 --> 02:15:19,528
[music]

2260
02:15:17,508 --> 02:15:19,528
[singing]

2261
02:15:22,093 --> 02:15:26,719
[music]

2262
02:15:23,840 --> 02:15:29,719
Yeah.

2263
02:15:26,719 --> 02:15:29,719
Heat.

2264
02:15:32,573 --> 02:15:34,593
[music]

2265
02:15:38,400 --> 02:15:48,719
We find a way [music] to find our way.

2266
02:15:44,079 --> 02:15:51,719
Knowing [music] that the dark skies will

2267
02:15:48,719 --> 02:15:51,719
someday

2268
02:15:54,480 --> 02:16:03,159
when our long night is done.

2269
02:15:59,040 --> 02:16:03,159
There will be light.

2270
02:16:04,480 --> 02:16:09,079
Will [music] be light. Heat. Heat.

2271
02:16:10,564 --> 02:16:13,894
[music]

2272
02:16:11,874 --> 02:16:13,894
[singing]

2273
02:16:15,803 --> 02:16:17,823
[music]

2274
02:16:18,424 --> 02:16:22,000
>> [singing]

2275
02:16:20,389 --> 02:16:25,239
[music]

2276
02:16:22,000 --> 02:16:25,239
>> Heat. Heat.

2277
02:16:28,249 --> 02:16:30,269
[music]

2278
02:16:32,240 --> 02:16:36,719
Heat.

2279
02:16:34,799 --> 02:16:39,719
[music and singing]

2280
02:16:36,719 --> 02:16:39,719
Heat.

2281
02:16:43,314 --> 02:16:45,334
[music]

2282
02:16:46,719 --> 02:16:49,719
Heat.

2283
02:16:53,794 --> 02:16:55,813
[applause]

2284
02:16:58,399 --> 02:17:02,309
Heat.

2285
02:17:00,344 --> 02:17:04,329
[cheering]

2286
02:17:02,309 --> 02:17:04,329
[applause]

2287
02:17:08,859 --> 02:17:10,879
>> [applause]

2288
02:17:21,304 --> 02:17:24,840
[applause]

2289
02:17:21,359 --> 02:17:24,840
>> Heat. Heat.

2290
02:17:28,510 --> 02:17:32,494
[cheering]

2291
02:17:30,474 --> 02:17:32,494
>> [applause]

2292
02:17:38,990 --> 02:17:41,010
[applause]

2293
02:17:43,599 --> 02:17:46,904
>> Heat. [applause and cheering]

2294
02:17:50,125 --> 02:17:52,800
[applause]

2295
02:17:50,780 --> 02:17:52,800
[cheering]

2296
02:17:54,160 --> 02:18:00,005
Heat.

2297
02:17:56,719 --> 02:18:00,005
Heat. Heat. [applause]

2298
02:18:04,535 --> 02:18:06,554
[applause]

2299
02:18:11,740 --> 02:18:13,760
[applause and cheering]

2300
02:18:16,325 --> 02:18:18,344
[music]

2301
02:18:20,479 --> 02:18:23,479
Heat.

2302
02:18:25,495 --> 02:18:27,514
[music]

2303
02:18:37,040 --> 02:18:39,960
Heat. [music]

2304
02:18:43,599 --> 02:18:46,599
Heat. Heat.

2305
02:18:48,421 --> 02:18:50,440
[music]

2306
02:18:55,626 --> 02:18:57,645
[music]

2307
02:19:00,866 --> 02:19:02,885
[music]

2308
02:19:10,036 --> 02:19:12,055
>> [music]

2309
02:19:23,040 --> 02:19:26,840
>> Heat. Heat.

2310
02:19:29,031 --> 02:19:31,051
[music]

2311
02:19:36,891 --> 02:19:38,911
>> [music]

2312
02:19:42,131 --> 02:19:44,150
[cheering]

2313
02:19:45,406 --> 02:19:47,426
[applause]

2314
02:19:53,439 --> 02:19:59,720
>> There was a time when I flew higher.

2315
02:20:01,127 --> 02:20:05,479
>> [singing and music]

2316
02:20:02,479 --> 02:20:05,479
>> wild.

2317
02:20:12,640 --> 02:20:26,040
Now I see her feel the fire.

2318
02:20:18,000 --> 02:20:26,040
Now I know she needs me there to share.

2319
02:20:26,240 --> 02:20:29,240
I'mware

2320
02:20:30,080 --> 02:20:35,240
all these blank trilms

2321
02:20:36,720 --> 02:20:42,920
they dried [singing]

2322
02:20:38,080 --> 02:20:42,920
up all my tears.

2323
02:20:43,040 --> 02:20:48,120
And while she [singing]

2324
02:20:44,399 --> 02:20:48,120
runs free,

2325
02:20:49,600 --> 02:20:57,960
seems my [singing] wild days

2326
02:20:54,399 --> 02:20:57,960
are past

2327
02:21:09,280 --> 02:21:12,600
the mountain.

2328
02:21:13,760 --> 02:21:17,800
I miss

2329
02:21:18,720 --> 02:21:27,880
all the [singing] magic days

2330
02:21:22,720 --> 02:21:27,880
and [music] the dark depressing nights.

2331
02:21:28,640 --> 02:21:33,399
I miss the mountains.

2332
02:21:34,560 --> 02:21:43,359
I miss the highs [singing] and lows.

2333
02:21:39,439 --> 02:21:46,640
All the climbing, all the falling,

2334
02:21:43,359 --> 02:21:51,439
all the while the wild wind blows,

2335
02:21:46,640 --> 02:21:54,560
stinging you with snow and soaking you

2336
02:21:51,439 --> 02:21:56,240
with rain.

2337
02:21:54,560 --> 02:21:59,240
I

2338
02:21:56,240 --> 02:21:59,240
miss

2339
02:22:00,080 --> 02:22:03,319
the pain.

2340
02:22:06,399 --> 02:22:11,840
Mountains make you crazy. Here it's safe

2341
02:22:10,160 --> 02:22:16,000
and sound. [singing]

2342
02:22:11,840 --> 02:22:18,160
My mind is somewhere hazy. My feet are

2343
02:22:16,000 --> 02:22:21,439
on [music] the ground. [singing]

2344
02:22:18,160 --> 02:22:24,160
Everything is balanced here and on an

2345
02:22:21,439 --> 02:22:26,479
even kill.

2346
02:22:24,160 --> 02:22:29,479
Everything is [singing]

2347
02:22:26,479 --> 02:22:29,479
perfect.

2348
02:22:31,040 --> 02:22:35,319
Nothing real.

2349
02:22:37,439 --> 02:22:41,399
Nothing's real.

2350
02:22:42,880 --> 02:22:49,160
And I

2351
02:22:45,520 --> 02:22:49,160
miss the mountain.

2352
02:22:49,600 --> 02:22:54,720
I

2353
02:22:51,200 --> 02:22:58,479
miss the lonely climb.

2354
02:22:54,720 --> 02:23:01,920
Wandering through the wilderness

2355
02:22:58,479 --> 02:23:06,560
and spending all my [singing] time where

2356
02:23:01,920 --> 02:23:09,168
the air is clear and cuts you like the

2357
02:23:06,560 --> 02:23:09,168
knife. [music and singing]

2358
02:23:09,359 --> 02:23:14,520
I

2359
02:23:10,880 --> 02:23:14,520
miss the mountains.

2360
02:23:15,664 --> 02:23:17,684
[singing]

2361
02:23:23,040 --> 02:23:26,280
I miss

2362
02:23:33,760 --> 02:23:38,240
I miss

2363
02:23:35,840 --> 02:23:41,240
my

2364
02:23:38,240 --> 02:23:41,240
life.